The very last day

,,Happy New…ahh shut up!!”

STAIRS

Waking up at the beginning of the new day,which is supposed to be a last day of this year. Feeling kinda weird, because I am not laying in my bed, but on a very cosy couch surrounded by beautiful stuff and furniture. So, I am here, still laying, someone’s still sleeping and I am writing this (I have a feeling) endless blog for today.

This year was “hell of a ride”. If you would ask me, a lot things happened, you wouldn’t even believe me if I told you.
But still, I started taking photos “more seriously” only like in June/July and blogging just from August. And I have to be honest with you – I became addicted. I am going somewhere and still “camera ready”, because you never know what interesting can come into your way. Kinda sad, not having the best equiptments, but I believe, that one day it will be better and with my vision of photos, I won’t have any difficulties with that.

As this year started I wasn’t aware that this is gonna happen. That I am gonna write as much as I can, getting support from people ( which I am totally thankful for!), taking photos which people actually like, either on my instagram account ( www.instagram.com/ninu_s ) or here, or whatever on Pinterest. It feels so good and so unique, despite of the 265129264191046 amount of bloggers around the world. Suggesting: Don’t ever give up on something you like, with only even 1cm of your heart believing, that this is something for you.

By the way, I went to check out on them, they are still sleeping, so let me continue.

As this year started, I didn’t really know how hurt I am gonna be, how many people will disappoint me and how I won’t be able to breathe for like 5 seconds, when all of that happen. I didn’t know it and the fact that you will never be ready for hurt, is pretty scary. You can expect it from right or left, but never know how much it will hurt at the very end.
I’ve learned how to ‘say goodbye’ to people who don’t deserve my attention, who don’t deserve me at all. You should try it and you will feel incredibly free.
I am not saying that there were only bad things. Indeed, I’ve experienced so many funny stories, met new people, had so many laughing “5minutes” you don’t even know.
I value those moments, my pressure happy moments that made me feel alive and kicking.

So many things happened- I saw/visited new places, I left this state for some time, I met interesting people, I took like hundrets of photos, talked to my mom and dad, took care of my grandpa, attended such a hard and difficult university (just for a record, I am still there), I was the Happiest and also the most Depressed person.
You don’t know how many things can change in one year! Because like 200things can change in one day, so we can’t exactly count the year amount, couse we would be here like till the next Christmas or so.

Anyway, to all people who’s gonna read this till the end – I am wishing you all the best of luck and strenght for the next year. I hope it’s gonna be how you want it all to be and last but not least, I believe that you will do everything what is in your power to make this year even better. Because that’s why we here right? I don’t really like wishing Happy New Year, because it’s still just a day anyway. But still – enjoy it 🙂
There are like other milion things I really wanted to tell you, about this year, but I feel that this is enough, for now.
Thank you for this amazing time on WordPress, to people who actually do give a fuck about my articles/photos.
Thank you for being here for me, yeah, especially you.


N.
P.s: I decided to post some photos I took these days, a circle called: Black and white December world.
P.s.1: They are still sleeping!! 😐

tear drop

square

wall

christmas town

narrow 2 narrow

corner

old door

ride smear train

Another morning vibe

                    ,,I can finally see it.”

     
    You have to be a very kind person, to woke up at the Wednesday morning and make it the best you can.

    There are people in this big world, that are living just for weekends. They are wishing for the same thing, every single week, on and on.

    I wish there was a message for people like that. Oh, here it is: ,,Find something worth living, something, that makes you feel so freaking alive and make you continue whatever you’ll ever want to do.”

    I hope that you have somebody, who gives you this kind of advice. After that you can congratulate yourself on a first step out of the missery of wanting a stereotype. 

    N.


    Childhood

    ,,Can X go out and play?”

    children

    This generation of children, is a generation called “growing up too fast”. It’s never about going out with kids from the block, playing “ball games”, experience all the adventures which e. g I experiences – bleeding knees, bruises all over caused by climbing the trees…and so much more.
    Today it’s ll about technology, staying home, skyping  instead of hanging out outside; using cell phones, tablets- in such a young age (when I didn’t even know what an iPhone was) becoming addicted.

    This picture is a strong reminder of that colorful, happy, “free draw” and kinda rebellious childhood from my past. When I see some children out, playing on the playground, it’s rarity and I am staring like a I saw a ghost, but still excited to see it.

    I hope, there are some kids in this tech world, who still goes out, experience all the ventures that this world offers. Because as long as I remember, that time, I was the happiest.

    N.

    What would you do , if you weren’t afraid?

    ▲▼

    birds flying high

    After taking this picture I realized,  that so many people are “caged” most of the year. I mean, prisoned in a little cage called “My world”. When people fall into this kind of trap, they tend to decline the whole process at the beginning, because it’s something out of their routine, but slowly getting used to it and at the end, they are staying willingly, because there is nowhere else to go. At least that’s what they think.

    Even if this is happening to you right now, you have to find the little golden key from the rusting lock, open the old creaking door, and take the first step out. Being afraid to do some new thing (or the old thing again), might me kinda scary, but remind yourself that you are here only once, you have to take all the chances you can, try everything you want to try, because you don’t really want to end up regretting everything you didn’t do in your life. If you want to fly with those birds from the photo, do it. Spread your wings and leave for a journey of your life.

    I know you can do it.

    N.

    3 foggy happenings

    He asked me: ,,What can you see in the fog?”
    I simply said: …,,all and nothing at the same time.”

    fog

    This is it.
    This is the only thing I see, at least for 3 weeks now.
    Hell of a nothing=fog.
    3 things.

    • Fog is a place, where you can easily hide in front of him, her, them. You can hide even in front of yourself sometimes. Because you don’t really wanna see all the things that are happening at the other side of the fog, not now. Maybe tomorrow, or the other day, when the sky’s gonna be brighter and you will feel so much better.
    • The fog is just a place you can do all the crazy stuff, without anyone noticing. Being you, being with people that you just met, but it already feels like you know them for a long time, be the real, the happy you, even if you are swimming in the milky fog.
    • Still, a very good place for thinking. It’s okay to think for some time, it’s okay to not know what to do, it’s okay to have a foggy mind for a while. You know, that it’s all gonna be okay, if you make it okay.
      Then you’ll make the fog go away.

    N.

    The foggy morning

    Good morning guys 🙂   
    This is what I see most of the time, for like 2-3weeks.

    It strongly reminds me the “morning feeling” of mine, every single day. I would call it – A fog in my head. That numb feeling, when you wake up at the morning, the first look to the window, just to see, that there is a another foggy/rainy day. That stupor feeling while dressing up, falling asleep about 4times in a row. 

    I am just not a morning person at all -_-” and I am sure, that I am not the only one here.

    Just make sure, even if you don’t have a happy and energetic morning, that your day will be a good day.

    N.

    One time a year

    ,,Who exactly knows, how’s it gonna be, for real?”


    rainy window

    I know, maybe I am gonna break your heart with this, but I am not the biggest fan of Christmas.  A year by year I like them less and less. Honestly, if you’d know me, you’d understand. But still, my point of view – topic: Christmas day?
    I think I am just too old for not sleeping a night before Christmas, and being excited and happy in general, as I was in a very young age. Children has it pretty easy in this – presents presents presents, right? (oh and fooood!!!)  Me as a child? I was exactly the same, but who would blame me, I was just a happy kiddo with a nice family life etc. Because when you are a child you don’t see things around clearly, like you had a scarf on your eyes and suddenly, you are old and able to see everything and hear everything what’s happening behind the door.

    Firstly, the commercial happening around us is too strong for some people. All the adverts in TV, going over and over and over again, malls filled with decorations, lights, Christmas trees and last but not least- 3257921 people, shopping like tomorrow’s gonna be the end of the world, when I am not gonna buy like 100 things. Maybe I am weird and this is completely normal, or I don’t know then. Like people just lost their minds for material things and still have to buy something all over again. who would blame them- they are just trying to make others happy with it, okay I get that. But still, it’s not a rule I have to like this day.

    Fights all over the year, blaming each other for stupid things, not doing what you are supposed to do, yelling, slamming the door on each other, not being “home” probably the whole year – this is called a family nowadays folks (of course there are also positive moments, I am not saying the opposite, but now focusing on this side). And then? Sitting by the same table, smiling on each other, being respectful, but in your head feeling weird as fuck, because it’s something that doesn’t happen throughout the whole year. Taking a picture and let’s see- you can see a happy family, smiling and stuff, but still, guys, something’s missing. As I am growing older and older I can see that, something’s missing and you are desperately trying to fix it just for this one day in a year because in your head you pictured something else when you started this family. You wanted something else. This is what a lot of people can see in their parents eyes during the Christmas day. But that’s weird about growing up and aging- you can’t see the future, you can’t say what’s gonna happen.
    But, trying to act like nothings happening it’s not a good move at all.

    I was so happy everyday when the December started, because it was a sign the Christmas is here soon and we will be eating by one table, having holidays, watching all the old tales in the TV, eating cakes and just being together. Life can change in one day, and I know that nothing so perfect is gonna stay with me forever. At least I am aware of that today. I know that things doesn’t last forever, because that’s life.
    I am so grateful for all the years I spend with my family, being happy and stuff, trying to remind it when I feel bad about it.
    It is supposed to be like that every day and the whole year, not just one day in a year just to act like nothing happened and we are the happiest people living in the same house. This is not how you do it.
    Despite of that, I am grateful even if things didn’t work out, even if we are not the best family, even if it’s not that perfect as you can see in the Christmas adverts in TV, still, it’s just a life. Only you can make things and that’s how it’s gonna be.

    N.

    P.s: Black and white world in just one day, because you know that anything can happen in just one day! Those pictures were taken yesterday and today, walking in the lonely foggy and cold town.

    bw mirror  upside down

    fog fog fog

    lonely market  lonely street