,,Who exactly knows, how’s it gonna be, for real?”
I know, maybe I am gonna break your heart with this, but I am not the biggest fan of Christmas. A year by year I like them less and less. Honestly, if you’d know me, you’d understand. But still, my point of view – topic: Christmas day?
I think I am just too old for not sleeping a night before Christmas, and being excited and happy in general, as I was in a very young age. Children has it pretty easy in this – presents presents presents, right? (oh and fooood!!!) Me as a child? I was exactly the same, but who would blame me, I was just a happy kiddo with a nice family life etc. Because when you are a child you don’t see things around clearly, like you had a scarf on your eyes and suddenly, you are old and able to see everything and hear everything what’s happening behind the door.
Firstly, the commercial happening around us is too strong for some people. All the adverts in TV, going over and over and over again, malls filled with decorations, lights, Christmas trees and last but not least- 3257921 people, shopping like tomorrow’s gonna be the end of the world, when I am not gonna buy like 100 things. Maybe I am weird and this is completely normal, or I don’t know then. Like people just lost their minds for material things and still have to buy something all over again. who would blame them- they are just trying to make others happy with it, okay I get that. But still, it’s not a rule I have to like this day.
Fights all over the year, blaming each other for stupid things, not doing what you are supposed to do, yelling, slamming the door on each other, not being “home” probably the whole year – this is called a family nowadays folks (of course there are also positive moments, I am not saying the opposite, but now focusing on this side). And then? Sitting by the same table, smiling on each other, being respectful, but in your head feeling weird as fuck, because it’s something that doesn’t happen throughout the whole year. Taking a picture and let’s see- you can see a happy family, smiling and stuff, but still, guys, something’s missing. As I am growing older and older I can see that, something’s missing and you are desperately trying to fix it just for this one day in a year because in your head you pictured something else when you started this family. You wanted something else. This is what a lot of people can see in their parents eyes during the Christmas day. But that’s weird about growing up and aging- you can’t see the future, you can’t say what’s gonna happen.
But, trying to act like nothings happening it’s not a good move at all.
I was so happy everyday when the December started, because it was a sign the Christmas is here soon and we will be eating by one table, having holidays, watching all the old tales in the TV, eating cakes and just being together. Life can change in one day, and I know that nothing so perfect is gonna stay with me forever. At least I am aware of that today. I know that things doesn’t last forever, because that’s life.
I am so grateful for all the years I spend with my family, being happy and stuff, trying to remind it when I feel bad about it.
It is supposed to be like that every day and the whole year, not just one day in a year just to act like nothing happened and we are the happiest people living in the same house. This is not how you do it.
Despite of that, I am grateful even if things didn’t work out, even if we are not the best family, even if it’s not that perfect as you can see in the Christmas adverts in TV, still, it’s just a life. Only you can make things and that’s how it’s gonna be.
P.s: Black and white world in just one day, because you know that anything can happen in just one day! Those pictures were taken yesterday and today, walking in the lonely foggy and cold town.