Sometimes, I am asking myself what the heck is wrong with the universe or at least people. There are days when you are just face – palming yourself, feeling kinda ridiculous, being confused as hell, not knowing from which side you’re gonna get a bullet.

Because when you are trying like a fool, let’s say like a month, not to fail and at the end there is just …nothing! Well, fuck me for being so disappointed in myself and in my abilities to do something. Then that one person comes. who thinks, that after two years of “torture” you’re gonna just go because the person wants that. Oh hell no.

And then there’s the feeling when you are giving everything out and trying your best 3 times in a row, feeling very very ridiculous and at the end you still fail. Tbh, the feeling is something unbelievable. You just sit on your bed shaking your head with a sentence in your head:

,,No, this is not happening. Is this even real?"

It happened. . .10 hours ago and I am still shaking my head.
It maybe won’t even matter in a week, but it matters now and that’s the clue.

Just looking at those raindrops and thinking about the big exhaustion I am going through. Who haven’t been there, can’t say the very opposite.

The new circle of madness is beginning again tomorrow and I don’t even know what’s gonna happen.
And those raindrops won’t say a thing to me.
Don’t you worry about that, the rain will wash it all away.
But what if those raindrops were tears? Have you ever thought about that?

Maybe you should have.


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