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Last week I turned 20. I don’t know if to say “finally” or “unfortunately”. Those lazy, f-ing lazy days are over and a new chapter is supposed to begin, from this September- again.


As one person said to me exactly a year ago- One step closer to death.
But it’s still so true tho.
So that day I was sitting at an empty office, and it all made me think about life again. Well, I am not even surprised because that usually happens when I work.

I just sat there with eyes closed for a little while and I was thinking. About what? About happenings, about people being stuck between what they know and what they feel, about the changes that may happen after you leave somewhere and come back but to the other corner…over-thinking and wondering much? I might do that often but with a glad feeling in my head, because it is true that I get so lost sometimes. Sometimes I just shut off and instead of thinking about people “falling in love” I think about why people can “fall out”.

I am still thinking about the reason.

♦How many people at this particular moment are running away from something, but how many of them are running home?
♦There is a possibility of having the worst day ever, but it can always be just somebody’s Tuesday.
♦But most of the times, I like thinking about other people’s happiness. I was walking around the town and realized, even though I see a lot of couples and being a little bit bitter in my mind, at the very end of the day I like seeing them holding hands on the streets, or sneaking a kiss while they are waiting for the lights to change.
♦Even though you hate it (yes you.), I love watching romantic comedies for thousand times where the guy is trying to get a girl and everything ends perfectly. Why? Because even though it is an illusion, everyone wants to go through something similar at least once in their lives. Because I know that soul mates can exist in a real life with their happy endings.
♦I will always like those songs which you discover like 1 month in advance before the radios will play them all along and people will claim they are annoyed by the song playing all over again but not really. Why? Because they will secretly dance to that song and sing it in their lonely apartment when no ones watching.
♦I don’t know why, but sometimes I tend to walk on the street and simply compliment something I like on a girl walking towards me. Why? Because I know that it is possible that just one simple nice word can completely change ones mood. And I secretly like that feeling.

This is all it. You need to start somewhere where you feel comfortable, and you know that you can handle your inner self. Even thought it will be a simple smile at the morning or something bigger like walking in a crowd of people, not feeling the biggest anxiety ever. It is and it will always be individual.
You need to start with the speed which is suitable the situation and you know that you are able to take the first step with no excuses.

Anyway, try to look up while walking. Sometimes it helps me.


P.s: Photos from my little weekend trip (y)


haunted househaunted house 2




4 thoughts on “START SOMEWHERE

  1. Hey N…

    Stop thinking n take more photos.

    Get into that space that you go to when you take your shots.
    And stay there when you finishing shooting.

    Your imagination and memory can mix up all sorts of things that can trouble you or delight you.

    But how real are they?

    The truth lies at the point of the arrow.
    That moment where nothing else exists.

    Liked by 1 person

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