Mixture of emotions.
This is what I was thinking about last night at 2:50 AM when I wasn’t able to fall asleep.
At some cases it is all about being happy and not showing anything on your face. But sometimes I feel that happiness is overrated. Okay, we do need that too in our lives. I would sometimes consider that it is just a part of it. We also need anger, sadness, fear, little piece of anxiety…and of course our major mistakes. Those mistakes which makes us grow up and learn out lessons.
I have always been thinking that we need all of that to be somehow complete in life. Not just one, but all of the “colors from the pallet”.
To be completely honest with you, I’ve done things I am not proud of and thinking about them a lot because somehow I can’t deal with them when I still see it, see them. Believe me, it is not that good falling asleep with that feeling in your mind.I am still sorry even though in the depth of their heart I will never be forgiven, but we can’t turn back time. But shit happens..right?
Just to continue, I have met so many good people in my life and I am so thankful for them, I can’t even say how much. But I am also thankful for those which made me feel shit and for those toxic and destructive people too. Why? They really offered me the variety of happenings in my life that I will remember forever, but most of the times they made me realize that I grew up to the position where I don’t need them at all. They offered me a very important lesson in life. Every single person will go or went through something similar, it is in need. It’s a circle.
I am so glad for those little accomplishments that I’ve achieved so far. Whether it was just opening my eyes when I really didn’t want to or going for a surgery I was so afraid to go. Well..
I am grateful for good days and also for the bad ones. As I always say- Sometimes you win, but sometimes you learn. Shit happens and you still have to move on because you simply can’t be stuck there forever.
When you are having a bad day, go for a walk, go running, run it out of your systems.
Or take showers, take like 5 of them…think about all the stuff, and wash it out of your system.
Please remember one thing- Happiness is not your ultimate destination. You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Show me at least one person who is happy all his/hers life. Sometimes it is all about the ups and downs you go through in your life, sometimes it is all about dealing with all the emotions.
When you are able to feel this spectrum of feels and emotions- accepting and giving them away, experiencing positive and negative happenings alike, then you are getting closer.
Closer to completeness.
Closer to be a complete human being.
Closer to be you.
P.s: Variety is still here, just take a closer look.