,,…but which one?”
As you already know, life is full of moments. From the moments which you want to remember the most and have a desire to remember them forever, through the moments you are trying to hide under the biggest rock you have ever seen and forget them permanently, to the moments you don’t remember at all. Life is full of happenings that happen during our lives even though we e.g don’t want them or awaiting them like crazy.
I don’t know what is it with people who don’t enjoy it all. Sadly, I was one of them some time ago, but after some time with one special person I just got to the point I am really satisfied with how it all function. It doesn’t matter what it is, but still-
You are passing through life and seeing things happen, flying through all the moments, experiences, minutes, hours…sometimes even don’t really see it all, then you’re being sad because it ended.
I started to enjoy those little moments more and more and value them while they are happening. I am still learning of course, sometimes there is one which is really really good and warm and then I am sad for a little while, but on the other hand still trying to convince myself that another (that good) will come again later.
Speaking of little moments, last week, I was at his place and just saw something really beautiful – family gathering/dinner. I know, most of the people will say that it might sound like something normal, but for me it was something I can’t see every day. It was just a simple little moment. I was sitting on a bench, smoking, after I finished my plate and saw them laughing and talking in a casual way.He was still at the grill, preparing meat and looked so concentrated, but after a second he felt that I am looking at him then he looked up and saw me staring at him so he just smiled and looked away.
It is all about family quality. Mine wasn’t that good, thats why happened what happened.But I still have my fathers mouth and my mothers eyes; on my face they are (at least) still together. This one is about the freaking strong bond I can see while I am looking at them. I am watching their relationship for some time and I can see the difference.
You wouldn’t believe me, but it feels so warm, oh my god…I am so glad I can share my moments with them.
That time I felt that I am a part of something and it felt so good. I really like those nice feelings, to be completely honest with you, it is a new experience for me and I am eager to see it all, to feel it all.
I hope I will get the right amount of time from the higher power to see all the little moments I am supposed to go through.
Those moments will never change and will be fixated in your head until the very end, because that’s how it’s supposed to be in life, right?
I hope you won’t change either, because this is something different and I actually like it a lot.