Inevitable individuality of the well known character

Introduction?
Not needed this time.
I am sure you can relate.

Well there will always be one thing that will tear us all apart (in a good way mostly)- and that thing is  called individuality. I know, I know, the regular talk about being different and people are supposed to be themselves and stuff…yea I know that and I am sure you know that too.
It has always seemed weird for me, that people wanted to be somebody else than themselves and tried to act like someone who is their role model or a pop star or just a older cool girl living next door.
Like, honestly? We all did it, even though you won’t admit it, you did.
When you are aging and  trying to find your identity, trying to create your own opinions, settle at that one point that will suit you, making a nest full of your things and your life- long story short – creating your own state of mind that will indicate it’s yours and anyone else.

There will be times when people will not particularly understand you and you will feel the freaking feeling of misapprehension. But you have to understand, that not everyone understands how your mind works, like basically nobody gets that, maybe just you. Maybe you will discover that one missing piece of you who will totally get you, your mind twists and stuff like that, but that’s just a mystery for now.

The question will still remain:
,,Why don’t you believe in things and opinions of other people?”
Answer:
,,Because I do have mine and they don’t really have to be the same as yours.”
Why?
,,Because I am allowed to have different opinion than you. That’s it.”

People may not get why are you worried all the time, or why are you scared of certain things. They will think you are weak- minded and that you are such a weak person in general because, those things makes you weak, right? You are allowing fear to get into your system and it ends up with some shit happening. Well yea, but actually sometimes being worried doesn’t show your weakness, just that you care a lot with a passion burning like a fire.

Sometimes you will laugh on things that may not be funny for other people and they will look at you like “wtf is this girl laughing at? she’s weird…” and you will laugh on the stupidest things ever, because that’s you and that awkward silence in front of you may make you a little bit more self- conscious.

At some point of your life you will figure out that you are a extroverted introvert.  One day it’s okay and the another it’s not. There is no intention to hurt somebody, it just happens from time to time and nobody’s planning on it because plot twist– people like that still exist.
Some people will try to convince you that your big heart and goodwill are something poisonous, that those things are just a simple weaknesses for you and that’s why there is something wrong with you? And what about your quirkiness? Did they tell you it’s a flaw? Nah, it’s not- you are not counting their flaws  either so why the hell would you listen to somebody who does?

I know you are just having the best intentions. You may not always looked like that on the first sight but inside…it is something completely different. At least some people have said that before. It is always different once you get to know the person a little better.

You have to remember that some people won’t see the best in you– they will call you names, they will let you down, they will betray you, but there is a secret that a lot of people know and went through- some of them will. 

That’s one of the most valuable happening.

So, do you know yourself well?

N.

14191704_1306977932647031_158658332_o

Instagram

Nina S on My Trending Stories

“To travel is to live”- The Casual Weekend Edition

P U R P O S E

I have looked over my shoulder today and I see that I did a lot of traveling this summer, thanks to him ♥. It is not always that far away but still, I am incredibly grateful and happy for it, because I just love this as much as I love photography and exploring new places.
The summer is almost over and I can feel it in my bones. They are preparing for the cruel world of new university, new people, the cruelty of not having enough time to do what I want and love, the cruelty of effing stress (again)…I still have about 20 days to good, so trying as much as possible to leave and not to think about so many shitty upcoming things.

I am gonna call this weekend as a Casual Summer Weekend. There is a explanation for that:
You know when you have a group of friends (and maybe a lover *winky face*) and hanging out, chilling and stuff like that- well then you happen to know what is it-
Let’s say having a grill gathering
*going to see movies
*going to the lake and swim because the exhausting heat is just too much for you
*have a nice dinner
*watch movie at home
*cook or grill a little bit more
*help each other
*and then at the end of the day, lay down to the bed of his and fall asleep like a baby because all of it made you exhausted but in a good way.
A very good exhaustion that made you fall asleep with a smile on your face- I have always carried this idea with me in my head, that someday, I will have this nice and warm feeling again in my life.  And now I made the whole list from the first point to the last.

Let me move-  As always, I captured just a little something something

IMG_0957

So after not doing a lot on Sunday, we jumped in to the car and went to see this lovely lake.

IMG_0909

IMG_0906

IMG_0932

Why not to make a polaroid photo of a polaroid photo?
I simply love this little Instax mini, it gives me so much life!
(*By the way, let me know in a comment section if you want a review or something about the camera*)

IMG_0910

Yes, sunset, hug me tight my old friend.

IMG_0915

I am so sad that I didn’t have as much time to take photos of this beautiful town because we stopped just to eat something, but I swear that I will come back and let you see the beauty of it!

Well, let me take you back. I really love leaving my house and mindlessly go somewhere with him and it is always amazing (at least for me). This weekend was more than a chill out one as I mentioned ↑, but still we did a lot. I really like taking pics of nature etc and this garden was just too cute for me to not take at least a few of them.

IMG_0941

IMG_0931.JPG

IMG_0942

IMG_0943

IMG_0947

IMG_0945

Honestly, my hands were shaking af and I took this photo like on 10th time.
Because why not, right?

IMG_0948

Finding the perfect lighting?
Check.

IMG_0935

Ultimately my most favorite photo of the week. The mixture of colors, the flawless person, the surroundings and of course Prisma app , is just unbearable for me.

I have to say, it feels nice to just chill out in the garden, talk to friends, have a good time together- those little simple things, that makes me personally really happy and satisfied.
The feel of satisfaction is something I haven’t had for some time and to be honest I really missed it. Nothing was able to make me “that” happy, until I realized that this is what is important- to have a few good friends, some place where you get together and talk, have fun, mess up, have him by my side, enjoy it, having some free time and just simply do not other yourself with shit. I am slowly getting to that point and it feels just great….but still there is a voice in my head that warns me about the end of this period that may come earlier or later- well, today I just sway my hand to the back like I was shooing an intrusive fly to get away from me and trying to forget that I ever even though about it. It is about now, today and maybe a little yesterday- not about tomorrow and the day after.

I am here now.

For me.

As I said- sometimes life is about the simple things.

N.

InstagramNina S on My Trending Stories

Investigation time: What was normal before today’s life was flushed down the social toilet?

The thing I am seeing every single day will always eat my mind…but again…

..today, when I was busting my ass in gym, I looked around me for a second or two, when I had a break, a lot of people were staring to their phones, even people in the mall, behind the see-through gym walls, were walking and staring into their phones instead of their eyes.

I am guilty of it sometimes as well, but for some time by now, I am trying to reduce my time on phone or staring to some social media or whatever. Sadly, as a young person- still struggling with it.
You know, as a blogger/writer I can say, that social media are something really important for us. It’s our “natural environment”…well sometimes I tend to think- unfortunately. This century requires technology more and more every single day. Among other things, Youtubers are having a job, photographers are having a job (as well as on other spheres), artists, singers, producers, …and I can go on and on. Honestly,Internet just took over the power over our lives.

But do you remember the times when we weren’t addicted to the social media and Internet, when we had time to look around us, when we accidentally didn’t trip on the stairs because we were staring into our phones? Do you remember when those times were enough?

When we met our friends in town, had such a great time and it was freaking enough? Those times when we were just together, celebrated friendship in the best way possible with couple beers and that mattered the most? We didn’t really need a photographical proof of the hour or two we spent in some random bar.

Do you even remember when conversation was enough? Imagine someone sitting in the bar, being actually outside with friend or two and the person is staring into the phone because there is a freaking urgency to text other 5 friends about something…Those people are not even sitting in front of you and you are giving them even more attention than to people who are actually staring at you with a question mark in their eyes. They came to see you, appreciate it a little.

Oh, it was such a nice time when a simple enjoying of the moment ( The Heat of the Moment ) was enough. When we simply sat outside, in the nature or in some park and didn’t feel the necessity to take a picture of everything (because we didn’t really have phones back the, duh!), Snap everything, record everything, edit it all, add two or three filters for it, crop, and post post post post till our thumbs won’t be all red and all of the people will see the wonderful moment that you just went through without you even noticing. Tell ’em.

I am so disappointed that not even a silence is good enough nowadays. I am a very big fan of silence from time to time. Most of the times, when I am in nature, I guess. That one fills me with joy, right away. But today? The silence is filled up with beeping phones because some new notification is here and ready to be opened and poor silence is just left out from the program for being too loud now. Well well well…

Then switching point to more verbal things to be- the times when  “thank you” was enough. When we didn’t really have to post it on social media to see all the comments because we need to show other 54265 people that we are graceful for something that maybe was supposed to stay in our minds hidden in front of the world? Just maybe? So inspiring *sarcastic clapping sound*

And then…do you still remember when a simple sentence “I like you” was still enough to make your day (or make your whole week maybe?)? Now, all the strangers going through our pictures, scrolling and scrolling and srolliiing…giving the “thumbs up of appreciation” and they don’t even know what we are like. “Hmmm”.

My personal final lap in this one- those times when a simple “I want you” just melted your heart and you couldn’t stand on your feet because suddenly they were weak af? Enough? Ahh hell, we didn’t worry abut texting back, filling up the gaps between the messages with worrying about the time between one and another message.
We wanted to be wanted and that counts even now – all the people want to be wanted and we want the particular person want us even more.

Nowadays, people are still waiting for those three little words, they want to hear out loud. But then they realize that it’s nothing- because they actually need to see it, words are suddenly not enough…oh?

Do you fucking remember when “I love you” was enough?!

N.

Instagram

Nina S on My Trending Stories

“To travel is to live”- Part 9

Today I decided to fly into my memories a little bit again as I did in “To travel is to live”- Part 7 because today it is such a weird and rainy day that I wanted to relax a little a reminiscent with my legs on the table.

MORNING IN WARSAW

A few years ago I was attending an Art school (here in the pace where I live) -particularly –Acting major. As a group of teens we were experiencing acting, breathing, stage fright, walking, talking, reciting, …you know “learning how to do it all”- and not to embarrass ourselves in front of people.
We got this amazing opportunity to travel to Poland – Suwałki, for a International Theater Festival for Children and Youth “Wigraszek” to compete against Latvia, Belarus, Russia, the Czech Republic and Bulgaria- well and guess who won Grand Prix? You don’t even have to guess- we did!

14102118_1298757560135735_828780139_n

One and only memory that I have left and I found it like 2 days ago in my room by an accident!

246935_224964830847748_4234247_n

253596_224964080847823_797880_n

Blurry af, but at least I have some bozos.

Well, on our way to Suwałki we stopped in the capital city of Poland- Warsaw. I remember it was like 6 am and our teacher was like come come we are gonna sightseeing a little while the town is not so overcrowded and when the heat is not unbearable again. So we went and as I mentioned in Germany post I didn’t really take a lot of pics (still mad at me a lot actually) just a few of them. But as long as I remember- it was everything! Fun, laugh, morning apathy, fast motion, blurry mind,but still managed to have something from it.

2012-06-19 06.52.20

Pretty and colorful- yea that was all I needed when I was 16, oh my.
But still, when I look at it now, I can see it- artistic feeling captured by an wannabe actor.
Funny.

2012-06-19 06.52.30 (1)

That time, I had a very bad camera with me, very weak one and as you can see the photos are low quality but sometimes it doesn’t matter because it is about the feeling what it made you create in your head rather than a quality of photo.

2012-06-19 06.55.35

2012-06-19 06.56.14

2012-06-19 07.18.20

So this beautiful building started my beloved characteristic architecture fetish (just kidding).
But yea, look at it- The Palace of Culture and Science and it looks like something from a dream!
At least for me.

2012-06-19 07.17.21

Still just a part of The Palace of Culture and Science, I am just standing amazed.

2012-06-19 06.59.05

2012-06-19 06.59.13

A quite random things, yea I know. But my 16 year old me just took a photo of something weirdly or colorfully or somehow interesting.

2012-06-19 07.03.01

Of course- I had to. Like I could resist.

2012-06-19 08.25.31

Square- Good morning yall!

2012-06-19 08.41.23

2012-06-19 08.32.05

Todays me just screams YASSS for the architecture because I must have always love the architecture like this- old colorful houses and old paths etc.
Just enjoying this little roller coaster full of memories.

2012-06-19 08.55.11

Well, why not hang a lamp on the tree?
This can happen in Warsaw too.

It was such an amazing trip…I’d come back anytime.
One day.

N.

Instagram

P.s: Today, it’s exactly a year as I started this blog! Happy first anniversary to WONDERWALLPHOTO!!

“At the end, the only thing you see, is sky intersected with a lightning.”

There are days, when I don’t feel like I am a neat person. Most of the times that happens during the days when I don’t even feel like crawling out of the bed. I surely am not a Sunday morning person ( maybe also with the emphasis on today, because while I am writing these words, I am at work) and surely not s Friday sunset person either.

Why?

Because, I don’t know if you can imagine, the feeling when you know, the weekend is near, weekend maybe full of adventures or just a regular bed- like one, you just feel the relief after a long week full of stereotype, the sunset washes away all the problems and you simply wanna go on a little bit more- well, why not?

I do sometimes feel like Wednesday 1. am tho, while listening to drunk people chattering below my bedroom window, I feel like a broken mind lock on March. Listening all the time to my bones, slightly cracking, every time I turn on the other back, at least for fifty times that night and all the other nights too. I fall down from the bed in full elegance with a muffled smack and still finding excuses for my awkward sadness.

roller coaster 2

Sometimes, I have to leave my house without nobody noticing me, completely alone, wandering around town on my roller skates, trying to avoid people, just because I have a feeling, that I don’t belong there. I tend to think I belong to all the made up day, that didn’t even happen for real. Then I sit down on a bench, listen to music or to “whatever-the-place-I-am” sounds. I am waiting till the light and darkness mix up together- whether in my mind or in the outside world. And, at the end, the only thing you see, is darkness intersected with a lightning. But, damn- those echoes- that feels just splendid and sad in the same way.

Well, as you already know, there are bad days, but at the end, the effort to make your day better, whether it is your attempt or attempt of somebody else?

Two words- Worth it.

Just give it a try.

N.

 

Instagram

Nina S on My Trending Stories

The Spectacular Embracing of your Interests

“Life is an ocean, and most everyone’s hanging on to some kind of dream to keep afloat”

I was watching this movie yesterday and I suddenly had an urge to write down some things, thoughts about the movie because I was feeling that I can work with this because it is somehow connected to me and my life. Does that happen to you too? That you are concentrated to a movie, to all of the lines and suddenly you are like hmm..this sounds really familiar.
I don’t know how, but I dug out this movie- The Spectacular Now and watched it again because I was in a mood to watch something from “life”.

There was a scene where they were talking about people and their interest definition or something like that. So I was just thinking about it, and we can surely add it to a simple life happening in peoples lives.
Do you believe that a simple thing can be clipped into your name and that one thing defines you in front of the “crowd”? Like person is a “jock” or a “nerd” or a “popular one”- you know the high school stuff- or “musician”, “painter”, “singer” or whatever.

Have you ever asked yourself if you have that one thing that defines you? So, I asked myself and I was not able to find that “one” thing in myself I am best in. I have a lot of interests but as I was trying to find out in which one I am the best in, I wasn’t able to do so. It upset me a little because if I am not really good in one thing I am doing, then why am I doing other 5 things then?

Yea,I was upset, but then I’ve realized one thing. I mean, I built this kind of opinion that there is not just one thing that defines people, that there is more to a person than just one thing in general. You can explore your options, you can be anything you want to be, even though you like doing like 5 things, like me.

You know because nobody’s perfect and you can or you can’t excel in 5 things.
Not even close.
Everybody created their world inside of their heads, they have wrinkles from squinting, smiling or not smiling at all.
They all have marks on their bodies, which remind them their life path, what they’ve done and what happened on their way here. They consider it as an evidence of sleepless nights while staring to the ceiling for so many hours? Yes, black circles under eyes became so common as well.
Adventure captured in memories in their heads, heartbreaks that are just a huge part of life, yea because shit happens; and all the jokes and funny stuff that happened.

This all made them who they are.

So why would you narrow your interest for one thing to excel in it if you like other things too?
Because some people around you told you to do so?

Oh honey, life is so much more than this.

N.

Instagram

Nina S on My Trending Stories

Attempt to create an effort to leave my skeptic feature chained to the radiator

“She was right.
She never looked nice.
She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”

I was reading this book yesterday and I caught myself smiling a little while reading some parts. I don’t read books anymore (at least not that frequent as I used to) not that I don’t want to, but mostly because I have no time. What is sad because I did read a lot in the past- I remember my teachers at high school, they used to take my books because I was reading during lessons. Well, I was always hungry for the real end of the story, you can’t blame me!
SO, as I was saying, I was reading this sentences over and over again and I was really thinking about it and trying to connect it to the real world (as I always do), to something that is happening in my world and I am realizing it but it’s not that visible. Maybe just till now.

While in relationship, people tend to look at the outside shell as the most important thing in the whole unit. Okay, the wave of critique is here- yes, I know, in today’s society it’s so freaking important- how do you look, what do you wear, if yo are wearing the famous brands etc etc (so many unimportant things at some point…), it is a little reversed happening now. Well that’s happening everywhere dears, nothing new. The inside world does play a role in this game for two, but only after some time, I’d say.
But what I wanted to really say is, that when you feel something, that is the one important thing here. You look at that other person and you know: Oh my, it is so amazing having you in my life…And maybe it’s just for a moment and  it’s over in another second, but you know it is so good and you felt it, so like a bonus point is still here. You felt it and that is what plays the most important role here.

Sometimes I tend to think that every single happening like this, is temporary and it won’t last long enough for me to be happy for some prolonged period of time. Yes, you saved me from my darkest demons, for now, but what about later when I fall down that rabbit hole again? It is supposed to be all temporary because that’s how life works, unfortunately. But, I am living for those minutes, for the happiness, for the time I am spending with you because I know that someday it will be over and I don’t want to regret not doing or not saying something that I really wanted, even though the truth is I don’t always hear it back, because that’s the way you are and I have to respect that.

It is about the little moments and there is a need to enjoy them while they last.

Most of the times, it’s not about being romantic af all the time (you know, but sometimes you can be), but about being real. I mean, being real can be defined as- adult stuff- being honest with each other, having conversations of, I dunno- of a deeper character , taking care of each other, listen to each other when the one has something important to say…it all takes time to learn how to cooperate all of tis into one healthy relationship that would suit to both.

I really wanna come to that level in my life, when I am not afraid of loosing anyone again.The day when I become heartless and won’t really let anyone to step into my comfort zone, will just come.

But for now, I am too young and  too kind hearted for that.

We will see.

N.

P.s: Take the other party for a walk, that’s a good start.

Instagram

Nina S on My Trending Stories