“At the end, the only thing you see, is sky intersected with a lightning.”

There are days, when I don’t feel like I am a neat person. Most of the times that happens during the days when I don’t even feel like crawling out of the bed. I surely am not a Sunday morning person ( maybe also with the emphasis on today, because while I am writing these words, I am at work) and surely not s Friday sunset person either.

Why?

Because, I don’t know if you can imagine, the feeling when you know, the weekend is near, weekend maybe full of adventures or just a regular bed- like one, you just feel the relief after a long week full of stereotype, the sunset washes away all the problems and you simply wanna go on a little bit more- well, why not?

I do sometimes feel like Wednesday 1. am tho, while listening to drunk people chattering below my bedroom window, I feel like a broken mind lock on March. Listening all the time to my bones, slightly cracking, every time I turn on the other back, at least for fifty times that night and all the other nights too. I fall down from the bed in full elegance with a muffled smack and still finding excuses for my awkward sadness.

roller coaster 2

Sometimes, I have to leave my house without nobody noticing me, completely alone, wandering around town on my roller skates, trying to avoid people, just because I have a feeling, that I don’t belong there. I tend to think I belong to all the made up day, that didn’t even happen for real. Then I sit down on a bench, listen to music or to “whatever-the-place-I-am” sounds. I am waiting till the light and darkness mix up together- whether in my mind or in the outside world. And, at the end, the only thing you see, is darkness intersected with a lightning. But, damn- those echoes- that feels just splendid and sad in the same way.

Well, as you already know, there are bad days, but at the end, the effort to make your day better, whether it is your attempt or attempt of somebody else?

Two words- Worth it.

Just give it a try.

N.

 

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