“…to let the life happen to me and let it happen around me.”

“…don’t look at me, the trustworthy night let me do it.”

There are so many things that are happening throughout our lives, so many memories, so many things that you want to remember till the end of your life and on the other side things that you want to forget the minute it happened.

Well, life is unexpected, I would say.

People change, things change, opinions and reason are shifting from one corner to another and suddenly you are not sure of anything.

I have learned throughout the years that nothing stays the same, and maybe I am still learning that because I can always see some flaws in my mind flow. Even though I know that(nothing stays the same) as a fact, I am still fighting it and can not stop it. There are times when I just sit down and want to truly understand all the things that are happening around me.
I always go and go and go and go and I am really rushing to everywhere so that I don’t have to think that much and I am rushing so much that my head starts to spin and I get dizzy. This is why I am trying to learn how to slow down. I am always trying to hurry up and come to my destination with an inhuman speed.

I can’t say that I like the speeding thoughts in my head either . That’s why I am trying to quiet them, at least a little, if it’s not possible to quiet them fully. Maybe also to close my eyes and breathe when something fucks up so much that I just want to scream and just stand up and go away, or just count to ten and leave it.

I am trying to understand that I have to let life happen, and by that I mean, to let the life happen to me and let it happen around me.
I am trying to accept that I can’t always get the answers I want even though I want them so badly that it is impossible to handle.

I have always wanted to be still and not to be in 3 places in one, to calm the hell down and just stay still- close my eyes, freeze the time in my head, make the memory fly around me and make it to take a seat in the particular place in my head just because I want it to be there, just in case something happens.

I was trying to learn to live in present and not in the past, because as I am getting older I understand even more what it means to leave things behind and try to look at them as opportunities and experiences and to learn something from them, for sure. It is a very hard and difficult path to take but I decided to take it because I know it is healthier than what I did like a year and a half ago. It is like a next item to scratch out from the list, and I am sure that someday I will scratch it out to the fullest.

I know that staying still is not the biggest “terno” and I know it doesn’t mean that suddenly you have a perfect life and everything is awesome and blah blah blah, but I want it to give me a reconciliation. The pure peace that will let me know that I can finally stop running like a crazy person in circles and I can finally stop running in like four different directions, stop wanting to have all the answers at the same moment when I ask the questions. I don’t need to be always in the middle, in tune with everybody ,because then I will have no chance to focus on things that matter.

I have always wanted to be still, not static, but a strong person that I am not. Yet.

Maybe it would be the best if I stopped asking so many questions and demand the answers, but look around me and just appreciate the fact that I am here and I am relatively healthy and I am who I am because that won’t change. I will stop trying to write my own path then I will stop constantly trying to be someone I am not or be somewhere I don’t belong to and instead of all of it, I will try to just be.

Did you find yourself in it? Let me know.




The late late winter wonderland

“Winter wonderland…I am speechless…”

After all this time I decided to come back again.
I don’t know why, but after almost 4 month of “burn-out” I started to think about all the things that happened, all the memories that resonate in my mind still to this day, all the places I visited. I wanted to share it again and I wanted you all to see the beautiful places I’ve been to. I have to admit it was not that far away (I mean like going abroad) but it was still here in my beautiful country full of nature and mountains. Today, I wanted to show you a winter piece (even though it is already spring here).

That day we decided to go to High Tatras, and also stop by Ε trbskΓ© Pleso  and the area around. We packed our things, sat to the car and drove like 2 hours to see the winter wonderland. We stopped here ↓ because it was on the way to our destination that you will see later in the article. We got out of the car to go for a walk around the frozen lake. It has always been beautiful, but in my opinion, it is most beautiful during winter, let’s see.

This was it, I was immediately enchanted with the white beautiful area around me and for more- it started to snow, which made the place even more beautiful. But, see for yourself.

Just a little info: As you can see in the picture, the trees are little weird, don’t you think? At some places there are trees and maybe there is a missing place? This is why: On the 19th of November 2004, High Tatras were affected by an enormous windstorm/calamity/disaster (118 km/hour strong wind) and it changed the area beyond recognition. In an unprecedented scale destroyed, damaged forests, but also the whole complex of factors governing water regime, climatic conditions, the limits of the various plant and animal species. I remember it even though I was only 8 years old at that time, it was all over the news for a very very long time, and I do know that a lot of people were affected and also some people died there because the ambulance couldn’t get to them. After almost 13 years, the forest is trying to “recreate” all the lost trees, but the amount of nature our country had lost because of this unfortunate happening is irretrievable.

But, back to a happier topic? That would be appropriate, I guess.
After this stop we got back to the car and continued on our way to (*drum rolls*) – Hrebienok, which is a ski resort and a mountain where you can get by your own lazy feet (like 45 minutes) or by a mountain cogged railway (something like a little train) and it is like 15 minutes (5 km) up to the Hrebienok. Since it was not a bad weather that day, so we decided to go by our feet. That same day, there was a national competition in carving ice sculptures from all the corners of Europe and also a Ice Dome that is there every year during winter.

This was the view from there.

And this ↓ is the mentioned Ice Dome, write down in the comments how you liked it, I am curious what do you think about it! It is from more than 90 tons of ice, so check it out.

My hands were literally freezing because the Dome must be preserved in nonstop “frosty climate”, and I was almost unable to take pictures, that’s how cold I was!

There was also an area with a glassy objects that looked like pure art:

But again, I was freezing as hell and I didn’t even feel my own hands so I just snapped the most beautiful one and had to go out.

Here are some examples of the sculptures that were in the competition:

Simply beautiful, pure and artistic experience.

When it started to get a bit darker we decided to walk back down because after like 3 hours of traveling, slight hiking and cold we were too tired to stay longer.

It was another little trip that I am posting like 3 month later, but since I missed the feeling of writing I wanted to share my memories with you, to show you that even though I am not traveling to America or The Great Britain, it still can be a nice experience.
Nature was, is and will always be the shelter where I know I can come back anytime I want and I will always feel relaxed and excited.



P.s: I’ll be back soon. For real.