WEEK 1 – or how it all started (Summer experience in Germany)

“Let the journey begin…Shall we?”

Firstly, I have decided to dedicate each part to a single person that I shared a good moment or two with. Not that I want to boost their ego or whatever, but I just wanted to appreciate the people that made my trip better.
But let’s get to business now:

15.7. Saturday: So we arrived in Munich. Another place I’ve never been to. We were sitting in the car in silence, just awaiting what is yet to come for us. After like 30 minutes we were parking in front of a rectangle building with a dark roof and shutters. My first feeling was…okay, breathe in, breathe out, you got this. We payed for the ride and were awkwardly trying to get our 159 bags into the house. I am seeing stairs..okay, I am still not sure if I’m gonna make it with the fucking luggage- long story short- I made it and almost fell down the stairs and died, the very first day- that is so me.

Well, moving on, I came to the room where I was supposed to live for 2 months and was completely shocked by the small space I will be sharing with another 5 girls.
Actually, I got like a 45 minutes long panic attack and wanted to turn around and leave. But I counted to at least 200 and  decided to go out and find Metro Station with other new people.
After we came back, L said we are going to see Marien Platz so we packed some stuff and went to see a piece of Munich the very first day. I have never been in Metro or any kind of underground vehicle (*feeling like a stupid villager right now*) so I was excited and this is what happened. We arrived at Marien Platz right in the middle of the Gay Pride. Well…I don’t have to tell you what that means- full of people, full of alcohol- full of drunk people, loud music etc etc…so when we wanted to take a picture with this ↓

The funny thing is, while we were taking some selfies, some drunkie decided to throw up right behind our backs *hidden laugh full of disgust* well, that escalated quickly.
Anyway, we were walking around for a while and then decided to come back to the House because it was getting a little late and we wanted to take a shower and unpack those 159 bags we brought with us.

The next day we went to see Garchinger See

“Mad swans”

That day was a beautiful weather so we decided to go like 15 minutes away from our House to see the beauty with our own eyes, lay down on the sun and enjoy the last free day we have before we get into the “real world”.

On Monday, we went to the company to sign some papers and be official employees (of the year).

not this, but it was kinda funny when the guy who instructed us drew it

And then another shocking thing came out- we were said we are not working that day, we are only signing the papers. Well, it turned out we were working- till 4 pm.
Fuck.
I was wearing a gray skirt (packed exactly no pants which I was supposed to wear), got these big boots that were 2 times bigger than my feet and a baggy blue shirt (by the way I am still wearing it while writing this) – outfit on point, don’t you think?

Maybe some of you would think that cleaning is just for people with no education and kind of a “last chance” before unemployment- well it is not- so I have become a cleaning lady for 2 months.

On my way to another building I caught myself staring at this beautiful building that was a part of the firm.

Happily, I got a chance not to work alone (thank god!!) and I was (and while writing this, I currently still am) working with a guy, also from my country, who came here with me.
By the way his name is Matt.
Never thought that I would chat this much with a man and I have to admit we were (and are) getting on very well. I was glad because I found a good friend in him. Anyway, I want to truly thank you for  every single chat we had, every single laugh we shared, because you know that I am not very good with people. Since I don’t allow a lot of people to come near me and do not have a lot of real friends (which sucks ass sometimes), I was still okay to let you see a bit of the twisted mind of mine. This one is dedicated to you because I’ve gained a true friend who I know I can count on and that is what is important now.

The very first memory is this photo … ↓

…and also a good evening while we were sitting outside the house drinking beer and just watching the sun slowly going to sleep.

The first week is always the hardest everywhere you go or start to work, so I was trying my best to learn all the things I am supposed to do and even made some lists to not forget all of it. My superior, with whom I started to work, was a nice and sweet lady, always in a good mood etc etc. Just lovely to work and spend time with. Yeah, there were days when I was tired or she was angry but we made it and at the end of the week I was feeling more confident about my “work knowledge”.

The first week after work we went to see the town a little bit and I have to say, as a big fan of architecture, I saw some pretty good pieces that resonate in my mind even till now.

Anyway, the 6 days of work went by and there was Sunday awaiting for us. Firstly, me and L cooked a good lunch together because we decided that at least once a week we need to eat some meat (a real food, not just pre-made stuff or a fast food). We were all tired after the whole week, but still decided to explore the town a little bit more. My friends were here in Munich last year so they knew the town a little bit more so they took me to see some interesting places.

  

I have to admit, the first week was hard on me because my legs hurt a freaking lot but I was still processing that I am somewhere else than my hometown. You know the little excitement from something that is yet to come but you don’t know what exactly it is.

See you in  Week 2 🙏🏻

N.

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WEEK 0 – SUMMER EXPERIENCE IN GERMANY

Guys! Long time no see! I know…where did she disappear for this long?

So, this happened I took a summer job opportunity in Germany.

I was really really stressed out to talk about it before so I just shut my mouth and let it be because I knew about it since about November 2016. SO , I finished my exams in May, so I had 2 months tops to stress out even more because it was closer and closer, day by day.

The night before (14th July) I was not able to sleep. I was at least happy that L was with me, because guess what? She was coming to Germany as well!! Fuck yea. Anyway, we repacked our bags and stuff like 2 times and had like 159 pieces of other luggage, which was another thing to stress about. Yass.

Traveling fever for life!

We were waking up at 4 am and about 6 am we had to wait for the car that was supposed to take us to Munich, Germany. It was Saturday morning, the roads were clear and silent and I was sick as hell (short notice: almost threw up like 3 times, but still managed to do my make up and pack the last things).

One of the hardest goodbyes was with HIM yea, I cried like a little child, but this morning was hard because of my dog. I hold him to the last minute and nearly did burst into tears when I had to let him go and close the door behind me.

So we left. Said goodbye to my whole family, and friends and was coming to Munich for 2 months. I decided to make this a 10 main episodes (with this one as well) long journey and of course I am taking you with me. A few of them will be divided into 2 parts but that is not important right now. One week- 2 episodes.

So stay with me and you will get to know more. I promise beautiful photos, memories and maybe a few funny stories?

We will see, or yea, you will see.

Thank you for still being here.

N.

Night night

Sometimes I am asking myself- “Is this really all I can get from you? Is this really everything? A cold shoulder?”To be honest with you, the feeling of not being wanted (enough) is one of the worst ones in life. 

Those are the thoughts that keep you awake at night, even though you want to sleep so badly.

But then you turn on the other side of the bed and there are the little things in your head, suddenly appearing in your mind, just out of the blue- like a kiss of your hand just before sleep or a good laugh about some unimportant shit…the mutual understanding at some point or even a slightly interesting topic of a conversation still make you believe in a better future of yours.

And that one still make you smile, admit it.

Then you turn back and see the back of his, facing you in a innocent state of deep sleep, and you know that there will be a new sunrise tomorrow. At least you don’t have to be insecure about this one. 

Okay? 

Okay. 

N.

Stability

She finally got a question she wanted. He asked her what can he give her that she never ever got before.

“Stability.” – was her response.

“If you want to give me something, that I have never got from anyone else, please, do not give me mixed signals and miscellaneous feelings, because of which I am gonna be just insecure and nervous. I am tired of being insecure. If you want to be with me, you simply have to stay here by my side. All I need here is feeling stable.

C.B.