To everything I’ve ever lost:
Thank you for setting me free.
After a while, the constant presence of smarmy eyes of theirs were starting to become annoying for her.
She had a feeling, that from now, she have to pay attention to every single movement of hers.
To every single glimpse.
Everything seemed to be so so important back then, but in retrospective, and from other point of view, life was so unbelievably unimportant.
She finally got a question she wanted. He asked her what can he give her that she never ever got before.
“Stability.” – was her response.
“If you want to give me something, that I have never got from anyone else, please, do not give me mixed signals and miscellaneous feelings, because of which I am gonna be just insecure and nervous. I am tired of being insecure. If you want to be with me, you simply have to stay here by my side. All I need here is feeling stable.
“Listen carefully to what people are not saying, while analyzing your excessive analyzing in life.
Rather tell them how much they matter to you, not because they won’t be here one day, but because they are here now, with their present silence and their tacit deeds.”
The distance won’t tear people apart.
Once upon a time, there was this void hiding in understanding. I was answering one question after another and gradually digressing from one phenomenon to other one, as well as unfolding the chain of happenings.
I was revealing the sandy desert with a small brush so that I won’t destroy the reality hiding under it. I found peace in every single reality, the perfect equilibrium in each detail that was being present.
The more human I am, the less I feel. The more I see behind the curtain, the less I am interested in the drama. Now I know why and more importantly, I know what – the thing is that there is no drama performed in this colossal and messy theatre. Just a sad play and I am the invulnerable spectator.
The particular sense is fake, the reality is just a total nonsense. We are all just a result of domino effect, one small brick in the middle of an enormous paragon. Equally important as well as insignificant like all the others. Just an emptiness of the purpose with the definition of nothing. The eternal darkness, windless setting, zero gravity.
So I have come this far just to realize that there is no other way? I am standing just one step in front of the emptiness and before I make the next move, I have to know what exactly I want to see.
And I don’t know it.
The Instant Photographer.