Just a thought #5

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,, Don’t build me a house, just be my home.”

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The place where you belong. . . ?

,,TIME IS A SCARCE STUFF.”


path

Those days when you’re feeling kinda alone.

When you are home all by yourself.

Nobody ⇔ nowhere.

Walking around the place I am supposed to call home, stepping inside of every single room and looking around…reminiscing a few years back, this particular room I am in right now,  was my bedroom, now I live the “next door”.
I was sharing room with my older brother till me being 10 or 12 (?) and him being 15 or 17…hard to know, when you are a person who doesn’t really remember what she had for lunch yesterday. Then, pardon me.
Anyway, I was just stepping inside of the dark room and listening to a silent ticking of the old watch we have for forever. Sitting on a couch, which was bought when they were still together. Seeing so many pictures in my head right now. Him sleeping on the couch, eating peanuts – then switch – us having 16 Christmas in a row – switch – watching TV together – switch – playing cards….switch, switch, switch.
Can’t say that I miss him here, I am too old for that (at least too old to admit it), but still, those are memories and sometimes you miss memories more than the person.
That was the time I wasn’t really seeing the whole truth, honestly I didn’t care (why would I), but there comes an ability to “see and hear” with the proper age.

It all sometimes makes me feel kinda anxious, with a necessity to get the hell out of here for a few days (as I did), but as you know, you are always glad to come home with a feeling that this is your place, a place where you belong even if you don’t admit that in front of yourself sometimes.

You always come back, because as much as I want that, you want to belong somewhere, and don’t say I’m not right, when you know that I am. Everybody wants that. Nobody wants to stay all alone, by herself, in a lonely apartment a few days in a row.

Then, you surely know what to do.

N.

P.s: Even if it’s partly cracked like the path on the photo, but you are still able to fix it. It’s all about your attitude.

Lights will guide you home

“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.”

c.lights

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you hear a word “light”? The first thing for me is the title of todays article- Lights will guide you home. Home, where the light symbolize the warmness, good mood (I didn’t say it has to be the “home” where you actually live right now) and just being satisfied about things in general.
It is always like that, I mean, lights are something which is supposed to be here for us – warm light to make yous know that not everything is just cold and shady, light to make you think about good instead of bad things, the big variety of colors playing with your mind, to know that not everything is just black and white, to know that at least now, you are not alone , to have a feeling that you are not scared anymore, to be who you are even if the light is on, to come back to your childish times to be happy because of it, even just for a second or two. And so many things…

I know that nowadays it is so hard to be happy about little and, for some people, unimportant things, but still, try to keep on mind, that you don’t have to be happy just because of big, enormous things, little things (as those lights) are like little miracles and being happy for them is at least the one thing that can make your day slightly better. It is possible, but it’s up to you to want it.

What about you?

N.

P.s1: That first picture was made today at my friends house, very talented writer with a sparkly lights at her apartment 😀 http://www.fragmentsofmindblog.wordpress.com check her out if you have some time 😉

P.s2: A little series of photos which I took in few days – “In love with the light” 🙂 enjoy

mallmall bw

square ights

christmas tree- square mall2

bulbs

 

 

It’s good to feel home

,,Don’t build me a house, just be my home”

There are days in your life when you feel soo comfortable and alive.
You wake up at the morning and you are not feeling exhausted and so freaking sleepy. You will cook some good food, listen to some good music -acting like you are performing at the Britains got talent- singing part, ignoring your neighbour who is shouting at you to stop screaming like somebody’s murdering you. After that you will invent some new kind of dance moves which you wouldn’t be embarrassed on any stage in the whole wide world…and you know- having your own funny galaxy when no ones watching 🙂

Then I went to see my dad,  (my parents got divorced like 2 years ago), and we went to grandmas together to the nearby village. Actually it was fun, because when I am with him I feel so comfortable and free to say anything, we were laughing, talking a lot and making stupid selfies 😀 (who does that? 😀 )

But the thing I wanted to say is, that you don’t really have to call “home” only one place ( and i mean the place where you actually live).
So when you meet somebody you love (family, friend..or whatever your goldfish) after some longer time, you can create second, third, fourth place which you can call home as well.
It’s very important to maintain some bonds with people who leave your home but not your lives after all, to meet them from time to time and realize how important they are for you and your life. You know it when you look at them and even if they don’t hug you, you feel the warmth and peaceful atmosphere- this is what I call home. Where you don’t have to pretend anything or watch out your language.
If you want to have ” cloudy mood” – have, and they won’t judge you because that’s you and you don’t ever have to change for people who love you and accept you the way you are.

Sometimes even you can’t define the place “home”, but you just feel that, this is right…and you have to be there because it feels so f*cking right, oh my…how much I loved and love moments like this- when you just don’t know why, but you know that this is the one thing for you, and you want it so so bad that your stomach is full of butterflies and you can’t say a word, but you eyes will say it for you- you want a place that you can call home because sometimes that’s the only thing that can make you happy and full.

Guys, I hope you can feel the metaphore here, because this is the only way how can I say it 😛

I know this one is a pretty confusing piece, but it’s a little morsel of my brain which is  strange a lot, but people who know me understand the whole package, so now you can consider yourself a person who knows my mind for a little bit more 🙂

Hope you liked my philosophical window, or  a little sundays poetic time,

N

p.s: Cloudy mood/ cloudy day 🙂 and another observation of my day

cloudy day

Are you listening to the sound of those clouds?

cats back 2 colour

This is basically me, redhaired one,who is turning her back on you, because she doesn’t want you to see her face 😀

botanická

Momma, I’m coming home..:)