Night night

Sometimes I am asking myself- “Is this really all I can get from you? Is this really everything? A cold shoulder?”To be honest with you, the feeling of not being wanted (enough) is one of the worst ones in life. 

Those are the thoughts that keep you awake at night, even though you want to sleep so badly.

But then you turn on the other side of the bed and there are the little things in your head, suddenly appearing in your mind, just out of the blue- like a kiss of your hand just before sleep or a good laugh about some unimportant shit…the mutual understanding at some point or even a slightly interesting topic of a conversation still make you believe in a better future of yours.

And that one still make you smile, admit it.

Then you turn back and see the back of his, facing you in a innocent state of deep sleep, and you know that there will be a new sunrise tomorrow. At least you don’t have to be insecure about this one. 

Okay? 

Okay. 

N.

Advertisements

10 stages of being insecure

 Pull down that plaster quickly, please.

sunset 2

People tend to be insecure.

Ψ About people, their behavior, their actions or reactions. To feel insecure swimming in the crowd because after some time you don’t really know which one of them will stab you in the back.

Ψ About the weather outside. As you know it changes like a mood of a teenager, so you don’t really know what’s gonna happen and more when is it gonna happen.

Ψ About the Sunday morning. It’s the last day of your improvise vacation and you don’t really want it to go away so quickly and easily. Unfortunate.

Ψ About romantic movies. You just simply don’t like them, but watch them anyway. Emotional damage in a shady mind? Maybe.

Ψ About lonely nights. That time when you are writing something in the middle of the night because you know that you would regret not writing it at the morning.

Ψ About mind flips. As you know there are good days and bad days. But to survive those bad days you need a huge amount of courage, because…because you just do.

Ψ About him, his moods, his unexpected moves, his mind, him being quiet, taking his time, not showing his cards with no exception.

Ψ About people who are not in your life anymore. Missing them, but on the other side not missing them at all. Why? Because of a headache and captivity.

Ψ About forgiving. To be completely honest, nowadays, can you really 100%ly trust somebody?

Ψ About the first thing you’re gonna see after you wake up. Is it a illusion? Or is it a real thing that you are able to see with your own eyes? Because sometimes you don’t know.

Being insecure is something common. People don’t get the right feeling these days, even though they expect some.
And the insecurity is born. 

Maybe next time..

N.