Night night

Sometimes I am asking myself- “Is this really all I can get from you? Is this really everything? A cold shoulder?”To be honest with you, the feeling of not being wanted (enough) is one of the worst ones in life. 

Those are the thoughts that keep you awake at night, even though you want to sleep so badly.

But then you turn on the other side of the bed and there are the little things in your head, suddenly appearing in your mind, just out of the blue- like a kiss of your hand just before sleep or a good laugh about some unimportant shit…the mutual understanding at some point or even a slightly interesting topic of a conversation still make you believe in a better future of yours.

And that one still make you smile, admit it.

Then you turn back and see the back of his, facing you in a innocent state of deep sleep, and you know that there will be a new sunrise tomorrow. At least you don’t have to be insecure about this one. 

Okay? 

Okay. 

N.

The late late winter wonderland

“Winter wonderland…I am speechless…”

After all this time I decided to come back again.
I don’t know why, but after almost 4 month of “burn-out” I started to think about all the things that happened, all the memories that resonate in my mind still to this day, all the places I visited. I wanted to share it again and I wanted you all to see the beautiful places I’ve been to. I have to admit it was not that far away (I mean like going abroad) but it was still here in my beautiful country full of nature and mountains. Today, I wanted to show you a winter piece (even though it is already spring here).

That day we decided to go to High Tatras, and also stop by Štrbské Pleso  and the area around. We packed our things, sat to the car and drove like 2 hours to see the winter wonderland. We stopped here ↓ because it was on the way to our destination that you will see later in the article. We got out of the car to go for a walk around the frozen lake. It has always been beautiful, but in my opinion, it is most beautiful during winter, let’s see.

This was it, I was immediately enchanted with the white beautiful area around me and for more- it started to snow, which made the place even more beautiful. But, see for yourself.


Just a little info: As you can see in the picture, the trees are little weird, don’t you think? At some places there are trees and maybe there is a missing place? This is why: On the 19th of November 2004, High Tatras were affected by an enormous windstorm/calamity/disaster (118 km/hour strong wind) and it changed the area beyond recognition. In an unprecedented scale destroyed, damaged forests, but also the whole complex of factors governing water regime, climatic conditions, the limits of the various plant and animal species. I remember it even though I was only 8 years old at that time, it was all over the news for a very very long time, and I do know that a lot of people were affected and also some people died there because the ambulance couldn’t get to them. After almost 13 years, the forest is trying to “recreate” all the lost trees, but the amount of nature our country had lost because of this unfortunate happening is irretrievable.

But, back to a happier topic? That would be appropriate, I guess.
After this stop we got back to the car and continued on our way to (*drum rolls*) – Hrebienok, which is a ski resort and a mountain where you can get by your own lazy feet (like 45 minutes) or by a mountain cogged railway (something like a little train) and it is like 15 minutes (5 km) up to the Hrebienok. Since it was not a bad weather that day, so we decided to go by our feet. That same day, there was a national competition in carving ice sculptures from all the corners of Europe and also a Ice Dome that is there every year during winter.

This was the view from there.

And this ↓ is the mentioned Ice Dome, write down in the comments how you liked it, I am curious what do you think about it! It is from more than 90 tons of ice, so check it out.

My hands were literally freezing because the Dome must be preserved in nonstop “frosty climate”, and I was almost unable to take pictures, that’s how cold I was!

There was also an area with a glassy objects that looked like pure art:

But again, I was freezing as hell and I didn’t even feel my own hands so I just snapped the most beautiful one and had to go out.

Here are some examples of the sculptures that were in the competition:

Simply beautiful, pure and artistic experience.

When it started to get a bit darker we decided to walk back down because after like 3 hours of traveling, slight hiking and cold we were too tired to stay longer.

It was another little trip that I am posting like 3 month later, but since I missed the feeling of writing I wanted to share my memories with you, to show you that even though I am not traveling to America or The Great Britain, it still can be a nice experience.
Nature was, is and will always be the shelter where I know I can come back anytime I want and I will always feel relaxed and excited.

THANKFUL.

N.

P.s: I’ll be back soon. For real.

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When life offers you an adventure, don’t hesitate – PART 2/2

“I’d climb the tree to see the world…”

You don’t even know how accurate is this quote for todays writing. Firstly, maybe before you start reading, sit down and play this:

To Build a Home

Actually it is a “food for thought” kind of music and it always helps me to think while reading or creating something (potentially good blog article maybe?), and yes I am playing it all over again (no, I am not a psycho…also maybe). If you haven’t read the PART 1 of this little trip of mine yet, just read that first so you’d get the right feeling of my little adventure in the middle of a messy semester.

Let me start from the beginning of the second day. It was a morning like other ones, just not in my own bed, but I woke up to an absolute silence in the house. I have always been enchanted by the morning kind of silence, to be completely honest, I have never enjoyed it because I am always waking up as the last one – to a complete mess. But today, I woke up and I was the first one awake. After classic coffee ritual and royal breakfast, we got dressed, hopped into a car and drove for another little adventure. L’s family wanted me to see as much as possible while I am there and guys, you can’t even imagine how thankful I was and still am for the little opportunity to see a few beautiful places I have never been to before.

We drove like 20 minutes by car and today, the weather was completely different. Let me show you-

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Sun is shining, there is no snow anywhere near- like a completely different place, am I right?

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This is the way to our final destination – The lookout at the edge of the forest ↓

But firstly, we had to conquer the forest, which looked a lot like a beautiful autumn. Look:

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Anyway, we got to the Lookout and I was speechless. I have never seen this big Lookout in my life. This one was 24,6m high and believe, it took a few minutes for me to climb that little bastard. So if you are scared of heights I don’t recommend on going there or even look. Or look anyway, but don’t get sick!

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And for this I even laid down on my back at the ground, there are even photos of me taking pics, but trust me, you don’t wanna see it – *laugh*.

And the view?

See for yourself.

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It was very very windy so I didn’t really have much time for staying up there in the clouds for a longer period, but I managed to suck up all the nature to my system and was ready to climb down. The stairs were a little overwhelming but I made it!!
L didn’t want to climb with me, she was (and is) poopy pants because of the phobia of heights- but yes, I can’t say a thing with my phobia of insects. Eww.

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On our way back we managed to stop in this little “back forest” where we saw an old train and benches in the middle of the forest. For me, it was such a lovely stop,even though it was really cold there- the quietness of the forest and good atmosphere- worth it!

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This is from the inside of the train. Another “lookout”.

Well, the ones who made it to the end now know, that I didn’t get to climb a tree as the quote says at the very beginning, but I managed to climb a 24,6 m high Lookout- so that counts a little, huh?
Anyway, I will always be in love with this place, like every single one of the places I have ever put on here, because I always keep making memories by taking pictures.
Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night, I am going through those pictures and reminiscing about all the amazing things that happened on my way there or there or on the way home. Pictures always remind me that yes, I was there and it felt great. Different air, different people- in this case, I got to know an amazing family of my dear dear friend L, I am thankful for every single laugh we share(d) and for all the things that happened, that are happening and that will happen. I am so glad I can have you by my side. So thank you again for this little adventure, hope I will come back someday.

One weird thing is, that weekends are always so short, you just blink twice and it is over and another week full of duties, work, school is here and you are disgusted the minute you lay down to your bed on Sunday night. That’s how I feel right now- not really ready for what is waiting there for me this week.

But maybe, if I´ll go through the pictures one more time, it will feel quite better.

We will see…

N.

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When life offers you an adventure, don’t hesitate – PART 1/2

*Thank you, you know why.*

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written something.

Being engrossed with so many things, people (yes, friends), University, traveling…and most of all – being engrossed with doing things to make myself busy so I don’t have to think. Would you call it a social life? Well, we can try to connect it with that definition.
So, being busy with so many things (which on one side was good but on the other…see for yourself) banned me from writing. Being tired is not the best thing, but being tired from doing things that make you feel at least a little bit alive, then that one is a good kind of exhaustion. At least I guess so.

Anyway, I decided to come back because I genuinely miss this. Even though I am overwhelmed with shit, I still care. I still need to come back because I have a feeling that I am obligated to. Obligated to keep this alive, for me, to remind myself that there is still something left to believe in. I simply have to get all the stuff out of my system, talk and also share wonderful memories and thoughts that I gain while I am not here.

Enough with a chit chat, let’s get to business, shall we?

There comes a time when you just want to see a place about which you are hearing a lot and then you just wanna go because you care. L invited me to the place where she lives and actually I was really happy to go. It was Thursday night and I was laying in the bed thinking about the whole next days traveling and realized that I haven’t been anywhere new in such a long time. I was really really looking forward to it.
So, I packed my stuff and left my hometown. Simple as that.

I always get really hype about new places and as you know, I take a lot of pictures. Be aware, this is going to be a roller coaster full of memories. Remember, you’ve been warned before.

First thing first- this years first SNOW. (yes, I know you can see it in the header picture). Let me introduce you – cold, but beautiful – winter.

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Well, I haven’t seen snow at least a year.
What about you?

As you already know, I am from a country that has every single season (so (sadly?), no America but Europe). As usual, not specifying anything, because this is the person I am, haha.
Casually, wading through the cold mess, trying to blink 3x faster to see at least on my nose (am I exaggerating? nah.) and simply enjoying the nice time with a family that accrued to my heard really fast.

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“Hurry up, we have to leave.”
“Why?”
” I don’t want to end up being eaten up by a giant boar.”

Well, please and thank you.

We came back home and were preparing for later that day, another part of the trip, because why not? There was no time for exhaustion, they wanted me to see as much as possible, since I have never been anywhere near there. Or maybe I was, but I was too young to remember it.

So we sat into the car and drove like 15 minutes away and this happened:

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Believe me or not, this is the same region as I was earlier that day.
The snow is f&#*/ing with us!

I call it: A autumns invasion.

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Lonely bench? Not lonely anymore.

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Then we came to this place. As you know, I am obsessed with old places, but unfortunately I was not let inside. Shame…

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105 stairs…oh my, why me? But guess what, I made it!
(No, you don’t have to clap)

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Yes, black and white session. As usual.

Just now, I decided to split this journey in half. So this was a first day of my journey and if you are interested for another half, stay tuned and surely you will get the second part on… Wednesday.   (?)

No, this is not the end. Be prepared for another time of being shocked by the amount of pictures waiting for you in my drawer.

Let me end like this:

I wanted to say, I am really happy that I got to go and get to know this amazing family and really appreciate the bond they have. Everyday I am trying to find something like this in between people and when I do see this, it always fills me up with joy and hope for a better tomorrow. I am looking around me and trying to appreciate the “present good” because I know that nothing will be the same in…a week? a month? …a year.

See you in few days, until then…

N.

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“The tigers have found me and I don’t care.”

I am sure, that every single one of you, once or twice in your life, went through some kind of grief. All the sad stuff that had happened, that you had to survive can’t ever be understood by other people. So, if somebody ever told you “yea, I get it, I understand”, they really don’t.
But they all get the plus point  for trying. At least.

The sadness and grief are most likely being composed into poems or some kind of structured post, maybe never shown to the world. I have came across a lot of them, but some were were written by a really broken souls (aka authors), that cam through so many shit…it was breaking m heart even reading it.

I suppose that the sentence “The tigers have found me and I do not care”, which came from a mastermind named Charles Bukowski , was especially a broken one. When I was going through the poem For Jane, it seems to be about a major heartbreak, misery, about love being taken away, about being scared and later after that not being scared at all…about knowing that this is the real end and the things that happened will never happen again…Life Circle? Indeed.

That quote reminds us, that it’s okay to feel pain, but we are still resilient and trying to fight it and fight it no matter what, because falling down to the dark pit of misery and cold, is not the best idea; well, I guess not even for your worst enemy.

People tend to think there is no way out, but really, there is- to look forward for any good moments in life.
You have to deal with your loss, even though it hurts as hell. Not to yield, but to start a battle. Not after this coffee, not tomorrow, not from another Monday. You have to start the battle against the soldier in a shiny armour with a feeling of hope. With a feeling that you can do it, if you just try.

So try it now.

N.

P.s: Don’t worry about the silence before the storm- it will always eventually go away.

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Can you hear the silent whispering of hope?

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for”

There are morning when you wake up and think of all the people who sat next to you in a bus or train or whenever. Then you switch to people who sat next to you on purpose with their fingers crossed (even on feet) with a little light of hope that you will talk to them. Even though you think there was nobody like that, there certainly was somebody, I am sure. I mean, there were also plenty of times when somebody walked past you and hope you will stop by and talk to them, but you never did, either you didn’t have the guts or the other person didn’t.

There is a tendency of people, walking around their town, thinking that nobody love them and they don’t deserve love. Well that’s freaking not true. Have you ever thought that some stranger on the street might have been thinking “hmm she’s my type” but again, the lack of courage is here and makes your body disable. You have to learn that you have to just come to the person and open your mouth and I dunno say something silly to make them laugh…don’t throw away the opportunity.

I understand that we all have different lives and going through things differently. We are all carrying some shit in our lives, even if it’s visible or nah. In talking to people, you get to the point when you get to know them and realize that you’ve gone through something similar in your life and you don’t even know what a relief that is!
You know why? It gives us hope
And I think that this is it, we are supposed to talk to other people, get to know them, find people that fits us like no one before them but most importantly- get something what we are supposed to get from them- the hope that maybe, it will everything be okay at the very end.

Enough is enough.

N.

#mood

P.s: So stop looking at the sky that much and rather look into peoples eyes…still trying to learn it. I am just a human.

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…but if you do it right, once is enough.

Χ.

Nothing that happens, doesn’t happen just like that. Story, its causality rooted in a geniality of a time passage, can’t be created and destroyed just like that. Idleness- at some point- doesn’t exist. You can’t avoid things that are supposed to happen, not even if you’d try to elude it with the hundred-mile boots.

It’s like when you’re running on the rock paving and the adrenalin in your blood blocked rational side of your brain, obscured the real reality against which you’ve been running. Complete shut down of a human being. The body becomes just a motley pile of emotions, a soul torn into pieces like a rag- with which you just wanna wipe down your own clumsiness. When you know it’s too late, when you know that the feeling, which you are embalming inside, is just another tight loop, getting even tighter on your neck. Those feelings will be hanging on that loop, the same loop that is suffocating you every night, just before bed time.

When you look the person in the eyes and the familiar look–  you can see the light, but the thing is, that no one’s home.

Well, let’s say it’s all life. And there are theories that weirdly,  it has no point. Is that really the truth? I know, there are a lot of people who claim the exact opposite, but I was thinking today and I just got this to my mind:
You can always choose to see this from two different ways. As the first one- after discovering this, every single person would just say the exact same thing: ,,If there is no point, why the hell I am still here? Why do I even bother?…it doesn’t even matter anymore.”
OR, you can say to yourself that even though there is no relevant point, you know what is important in life, and this is certainly not. Life matter just like it is and we were given this one opportunity to live it, so why to brag about shit, if you can live it the best you can?

God, how I wish to take back the time to my past when I was thinking about so many things that weren’t even important at all and I wish I had this state of mind while I was there- I mean, life is about perspective, people.
In every single situation you go through is presented to you from so many different ankles – well the trick is, to always find the one that suits you the best.

Life can be so tricky and messed up, but you have to go through it, because remember- only one chance is here for you.

So stop waiting. Stop trying to find the next secret door that will lead you to your real life, because you still think that this is just a dream. This is it. There is nothing else out there. I am sorry.

So you’d better decide to enjoy every single day or you should go through your life with miserable feeling wherever you go.

Life is about choosing so try to choose the best for you.

Rise and shine honey,

N.

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