WEEK 0 – SUMMER EXPERIENCE IN GERMANY

Guys! Long time no see! I know…where did she disappear for this long?

So, this happened I took a summer job opportunity in Germany.

I was really really stressed out to talk about it before so I just shut my mouth and let it be because I knew about it since about November 2016. SO , I finished my exams in May, so I had 2 months tops to stress out even more because it was closer and closer, day by day.

The night before (14th July) I was not able to sleep. I was at least happy that L was with me, because guess what? She was coming to Germany as well!! Fuck yea. Anyway, we repacked our bags and stuff like 2 times and had like 159 pieces of other luggage, which was another thing to stress about. Yass.

Traveling fever for life!

We were waking up at 4 am and about 6 am we had to wait for the car that was supposed to take us to Munich, Germany. It was Saturday morning, the roads were clear and silent and I was sick as hell (short notice: almost threw up like 3 times, but still managed to do my make up and pack the last things).

One of the hardest goodbyes was with HIM yea, I cried like a little child, but this morning was hard because of my dog. I hold him to the last minute and nearly did burst into tears when I had to let him go and close the door behind me.

So we left. Said goodbye to my whole family, and friends and was coming to Munich for 2 months. I decided to make this a 10 main episodes (with this one as well) long journey and of course I am taking you with me. A few of them will be divided into 2 parts but that is not important right now. One week- 2 episodes.

So stay with me and you will get to know more. I promise beautiful photos, memories and maybe a few funny stories?

We will see, or yea, you will see.

Thank you for still being here.

N.

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Sunday Lighthouse Feels

Lighthouses are not just stone, brick, metal, and glass. There’s a story behind every single one of them; that’s the story I want to live through.

One day,while the light will shine on your way, in the biggest darkness, you will realize it- The lighthouses mysteriously represent a thing that people want the most.

What ever thing in the world is yours, I hope you”ll find it.
N.

“The memory is the scribe of the soul” – Part 2

I hope she comes back…if not in my dream, just in signs or happenings around me.

Today, I was staring out of the window and thinking about the things she told me. I was exhausted and people who were passing through the town on the other side of the window started to look blurry and shady…I didn’t want to fall asleep because that would be pretty inappropriate, because I was still sitting in classroom, praying for the clock to move faster.

I know she won’t come back, but as long as I know, nobody banned me from making up her story and continue…and it will always be up to you if it’s true or not. Because you know what? People will believe just to things they really wanna believe in.
Deep down I somehow wanna  continue in telling her story, even though I don’t really know it.

The day after figuring out and telling him, she must have felt numb. She was exhausted. The flashbacks from last night were too real…but she couldn’t let him to do that. Well, you know, people still have manners. Even though she wanted, but there was no other solution than just say no. She was feeling calm and happy when he held her hand, but still too insecure just because the heat of the moment was really fleeting. Let’s just say she wanted to prolong it as much as possible.
She felt like she could tell him a lot from her past or present, but still not everything. Like most of the people, he was just a human and she was not sure if he’d handle that many information at once. Well she was never sure.

There were so any thoughts in her head…but still the next day and the next one and the next one, she felt calm. Even though the next day after next next day she was seeing him…she doesn’t know what is it that still make her to look into his eyes and feel something new… at least for that little moment.
But,luckily, she still doesn’t believe him, she knows this is weird and she can’t let any feelings to overwhelm her.

Maybe someday you will get it and stop asking so many stupid questions.

I still think of her as a fragile person.
And maybe she is just lost in these halls, as much as I am.

N.

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Nina S on My Trending Stories

“The memory is the scribe of the soul”

“How did you do that?”
“What?”
“Stopped feeling so cold.”
“Let me tell you…”

There are some points of your life when you are standing in the middle of the road and don’t know where to continue. Looking around yourself, trying to figure out which of the ways is the one for you- this is happening to me with writing, right now. There are so many things I can write about…but today, I am choosing a storytelling. I had a dream last night and I decided to tell you about it. I made up most of it, to fill in the gaps, but I feel confident about it anyway.

I had a friend who went through some really really messed up shit. I got to know her a very very long time ago and I knew that this is one of the worst times in her life. She didn’t even have to tell me, I knew. At the beginning of this year, when things started to become clearer and a little bit happier for her, she decided to see The Oracle. Not that she really believed in stuff like that, but just out of curiosity and a little bit of fun. I can’t really remember what was she saying to me about the things that The Oracle said to her, but one thing particularly stayed in my mind. The Oracle told her that something big will happen in next few years, most importantly in her love life. The only thing I remember from her is that one day, a guy will come from abroad, not speaking in her language, but he’s gonna be having some relations here, plus he’ll be working here and they will get to know each other and obviously fall in love. She was kinda surprised when she heard it because she didn’t believe and she was convinced that it will never happen. Like, duh, those things happen mostly in movies. Well more than a half of the year passed and she almost forgot about it. We have been meeting from time to time at the same place at the same time, in the same day of the month and were talking and talking… and the day came when she was quieter than usual. I was confused so I asked her what’s wrong. She told me, that she was thinking last few days about something. Well, as a good listener, I stayed quiet and let her to express what’s on your mind. She asked me if I remember those “bad times”, I just nodded, because I didn’t really wanted to interrupt her. And basically, all that happened was that the “prediction” about the guy from another place is starting to “take a form”.  Like, oh fuck, shit is becoming too real. I didn’t even believe my own ears when she told me. I don’t believe in Oracles…so I was confused. It is still at the beginning, she told me, and she doesn’t know where it’s gonna head from here….
I remember I wanted to ask something, but after that I woke up in the middle of the night, with a very very soar throat. I really really wanted to know how it continued!

I don’t really have dreams like this. I mean, I don’t even have dreams that I remember, so it scared me a lot actually. But then I went to sleep again and I was thinking about it after I woke up that morning. Well, as Aristotle once said- “Memory is a scribe of a soul”, I am glad I remembered it and was able to write it down before the memory flies away in a gust of wind trying to play with my hair.

Do you think I will ever hear from the girl again?
Because I would really love to know how her story will end…
We will see.

Till then…

N.

P.s: …I will try to look through these windows, maybe I will see her somewhere.

another-windows

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Nina S on My Trending Stories

♦ Ability to leave something behind ♦

“There’s always a story. It’s all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything’s got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.”

Today I would like to talk about people and their ability to want and change something. We were born one day and were growing up, firstly very quickly and after some time it goes slower and slower. This is the time when we are trying to figure out the mystical question ,,What’s next?” 

Well, as you all already know, it is individual. People are trying to figure out within the years who are they, which profession is supposed to be theirs, which way are they supposed to go…and so many other questions.

There is a change every time someone do something in this world. It is not a major kind of change like the visible one, but there is still a change. Whether it is a personal change or melting your sugar in your morning coffee.

I was thinking, that everyday we change the world, which is a nice thought, until I realized, that yea, we do change the world but to change the world in a way that means anything, it takes such a long period of time. It never happens in one minute, one day, one week, one month…it’s slow, it’s exhausting. It’s something that most of the people don’t even have the stomach for. 

There is always one person in a group, that is trying to be heard, that is trying to do something that will be memorized one day, that the world will know him by the name, that he will do something that will change the society…
It is generally known, that people want to leave something here after they die, because nobody wants to die alone just like that, without being heard, without doing everything that they’ve planned for so many years, without achieving something. But at this point it doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as you touch it and after you leave it, the change will be visible for other people to watch it and realize what just happened here.

The person will be eager to risk everything to change something they’ve been fighting for for so long, because if you really want something, nothing will stop you, nothing will bother you and noone will tell you what to do. Because that’s how you’ve always wanted it.

Because we are all gonna be stories one day, so let them be marvelous.

N.

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just do it

This year

,,The year was pretty long, don’t you think so?”


As most of you know, the year is coming slowly to the end. This year was full of surprises, ups and downs, seeking, trying, fighting for/against something- so so many things. In conclusion, many things happened throughout this year. Something started and also something ended. I am sure, that no one likes starting too quickly and then end too early, but still, people tend to do that. Then, they most of the time end up disappointed. Not good for your mind and overthinking nights which you spend completely alone in the dark. Believe me, a lot can change during one night.

But anyway, this year was very long, I had a feeling like it was two years in one. My time is passing kinda slowlier like at the others, I guess. Or maybe it’s because a lot happened. I’m sure that it’s not just my case. I am completely sure, that you did your best to do anything you wanted.
I have so many memories captioned in my camera roll, you can’t even imagine. Some of them are disappointing, but some of them are still remaining in my mind like it happened yesterday. It’s all laying there,still, like a photo film. Sometimes, I am going through them and trying to remind the particular feeling I had, when I was taking it, how I felt about the people who were with me, how it happened and even why it all happened.

I remember one day (I had to write it down later when she left, because it was something that haunts people all the time, but still it was interesting for me, because I know her), when she told me this one thing:

She told me she saw him today. She went out of the mall and she saw a random guy litting up a cigarette, just the way he did some time ago. Little arrogant face expression, same height, hair, freakishly similar face…similar version of him but from another place. She knew it was not „him“, but he reminded him so strongly, she suddenly felt, that her eyes are filling up with tears. She couldn’t bare it. The pain hit her like a train. She thought it completely went away, but then she realized that the complete opposite is happening.

She was so vulnerable at that time, shaking like a leaf in a gust of wind. But still, I was here for her and that’s what mattered for me and for her at that time.
I don’t know if it will ever go away, like it’s gonna leave her mind, I would like to know, because everybody in this world have their “issues” and problems, dark thoughts, things that happened to them and every time, they think about it, their mood suddenly change and they are staring to the nothingness, like they saw it in front of their eyes just right now.

Some people tend to be a medicine for us, in our lives. To make us continue in this “happening”, that started so many years ago, like it was a century. They want us here. Guys, even if you are making yourself to continue in things, it doesn’t really matter- because (fav sentence) sometimes you really need to be your own hero, as I was saying like 100 times, in my articles. Saving yourself is something, that is even stronger than when someone else do it because he/she loves you no matter what. Still both are the most valuable things, that are happening in one persons life.

To be honest, at the beginning of this year, I didn’t even know that I will become the amateur writer/blogger , I didn’t know that I will be listening to stories of so many people, making so many photos, traveling to see new places, be happy and also feeling so let down like never before. I didn’t know, that so many things will happen and so many things will change. Still writing every singe day about fragments from my life, or from your life, not even realizing it, but at the end of the day feeling better, because I am doing something what I like and what I really wanna do.

It’s too early to say some “end of the year” speech, so I will make it later.

Anyway, there are so many things unsaid, that I wanna say, but yea, we have the eternity in front of us. I know, I will be able to say so many other things, but later.

We still have time.

N.

P.s: For some people this year flew away like those birds. Am I right?

this year

Draw it !

,,Do not allow the eye to fool the mind”.

A few weeks ago I found my lost passion of mine- drawing 🙂
As I was like 13 or 14 I liked drawing at gymnasium but my drawing “skills” started to grow when I was in elementary school.
I can remember my moms face when I came home with some weird coloured mixture of flowers houses clouds and dogs 😀 , she always hung it on the fridge and it lasted there till I came with some new piece of “art” 😀 . Tbh I was a pretty strange kiddo 😀
Anyway, I wanted to show you a few of my works 🙂 I have always liked geometric art so I started to draw mostly something like that, so I hope you’ll like it 🙂

deer

triangle

 bows

cube

N