,,The year was pretty long, don’t you think so?”
As most of you know, the year is coming slowly to the end. This year was full of surprises, ups and downs, seeking, trying, fighting for/against something- so so many things. In conclusion, many things happened throughout this year. Something started and also something ended. I am sure, that no one likes starting too quickly and then end too early, but still, people tend to do that. Then, they most of the time end up disappointed. Not good for your mind and overthinking nights which you spend completely alone in the dark. Believe me, a lot can change during one night.
But anyway, this year was very long, I had a feeling like it was two years in one. My time is passing kinda slowlier like at the others, I guess. Or maybe it’s because a lot happened. I’m sure that it’s not just my case. I am completely sure, that you did your best to do anything you wanted.
I have so many memories captioned in my camera roll, you can’t even imagine. Some of them are disappointing, but some of them are still remaining in my mind like it happened yesterday. It’s all laying there,still, like a photo film. Sometimes, I am going through them and trying to remind the particular feeling I had, when I was taking it, how I felt about the people who were with me, how it happened and even why it all happened.
I remember one day (I had to write it down later when she left, because it was something that haunts people all the time, but still it was interesting for me, because I know her), when she told me this one thing:
She told me she saw him today. She went out of the mall and she saw a random guy litting up a cigarette, just the way he did some time ago. Little arrogant face expression, same height, hair, freakishly similar face…similar version of him but from another place. She knew it was not „him“, but he reminded him so strongly, she suddenly felt, that her eyes are filling up with tears. She couldn’t bare it. The pain hit her like a train. She thought it completely went away, but then she realized that the complete opposite is happening.
She was so vulnerable at that time, shaking like a leaf in a gust of wind. But still, I was here for her and that’s what mattered for me and for her at that time.
I don’t know if it will ever go away, like it’s gonna leave her mind, I would like to know, because everybody in this world have their “issues” and problems, dark thoughts, things that happened to them and every time, they think about it, their mood suddenly change and they are staring to the nothingness, like they saw it in front of their eyes just right now.
Some people tend to be a medicine for us, in our lives. To make us continue in this “happening”, that started so many years ago, like it was a century. They want us here. Guys, even if you are making yourself to continue in things, it doesn’t really matter- because (fav sentence) sometimes you really need to be your own hero, as I was saying like 100 times, in my articles. Saving yourself is something, that is even stronger than when someone else do it because he/she loves you no matter what. Still both are the most valuable things, that are happening in one persons life.
To be honest, at the beginning of this year, I didn’t even know that I will become the amateur writer/blogger , I didn’t know that I will be listening to stories of so many people, making so many photos, traveling to see new places, be happy and also feeling so let down like never before. I didn’t know, that so many things will happen and so many things will change. Still writing every singe day about fragments from my life, or from your life, not even realizing it, but at the end of the day feeling better, because I am doing something what I like and what I really wanna do.
It’s too early to say some “end of the year” speech, so I will make it later.
Anyway, there are so many things unsaid, that I wanna say, but yea, we have the eternity in front of us. I know, I will be able to say so many other things, but later.
We still have time.
P.s: For some people this year flew away like those birds. Am I right?