Soul search

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Every morning I am waking up bored to reality and through the majority of nights I am rambling about how are we supposed to wake up to the dream we’ve always been dreaming of.

You are sitting at your kitchen table at the morning, looking out of the window, thinking like “how the hell did I get to this mess we call a life?”.
You are in a situation that you might think you won’t survive, that the thing is not going to get solved since life (and also shit) happens.
If you dig into the past, let’s say a year and a half ago, that you and your pride did not think you’d survive and three years ago you were even in a bigger mess than this, you did not think you’d survive either.
The point is, that you are able to always surprise yourself with the amount of strength you have at the bottom of your soul, because every time you think you’re not gonna survive this or that, it always turns out that the bottom will never leave you hanging and help you find your way back.

Maybe one day, you will find the right way back home, because there might be someone waiting for you. The minute you step inside, you discover that you are not the one who’s lost.

N.

Pic source: Tumblr

The other side of anxiety

“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.”

I’ve recently done one test, about feeling axious or having some sort of social anxiety and stuff. I always knew that something is not right but yea let’s face it , who has the best “mind space” ? I am not going to tell you my score, but it was not that good tbh 😛 here is the link if you’ll like to test yourself:
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/test-social-anxiety-disorder-find-out-if-you-suffer-social-phobia

People who feel nervous in the big croud, or they feel uncomfortable when they have to talk to a shop assistant or talking to their classmates during the break – big issue, big time.
People are trying to hide, in general. They don’t want the world to see them, their face, their actions…they are closing their minds because they are afraid of people hurting them. They won’t let anybody to see what they or who they really are. Those emotions are too strong and sometimes they don’t know what to do. Lack of confidence is acompanying their life in a huge way- afraid to speak up, sometimes afraid to even go to public.

My point?
This is not fair. People are supposed to enjoy their life in the best way possible, how they want and by the most comfortable way they can. I mean, why? I don’t think the people are happy in their skin…Actually I read some articles about a social anxiety a few days ago and I saw one  weirdly terrifying thing, one guy got out of his “anxiety bubble” after 44 years :O like oh my…but big time, because he made it! and today he is not afraid to speak in front of people, to say what he really thinks…to go anywhere he wants etc..This is a huge one 🙂 and I am so happy he made it because nobody wants to live like that, I hope that everybody who is struggling with this kind of “issues” will be okay one day

I guess, if you want to compare anxiety and getting out of it- I would choose “The Tunel metaphore” If you think about it as tunel- you really wanna get out of the anxiety tunel but the light at the other side is too far and you are too weak to run faster. BUT time after time when you’ll try more and more you will run faster and faster and at the end you will reach the precious and warm light…and that feeling? I can’t say, but I think one of the best and worth ones 🙂 ! Nobody wants to stay in a cold tunel forever- sooner or later you’ll get out and then a new life’s gonna start 🙂

Even if this is not my photo, in my opinion it totally describes the feeling:

I also wanted to tell you another thing today 🙂 and that thing has a name- Project Semicolon.
It’s been here since 2013, and the project is about one simple, little tattoo- Semicolon. People all over the world are getting this semicolon tattoos to support people who are struggling with some mental issues, addiction even suicidal stuff is included

In literature, semicolon reminds us, the authors intention to continue and not end the sentence with a dot.

I just wanted to tell you that not everything is black and even if you feel bad or sad or however weird, there is always a little white place, the good place, where, or with who you feel okay and safe and comfortable. You don’t have to close the gates to your head and thoughts in front of the world because there will always be somebody who will be here for you and if not now, than he/ she will come later- but I am 100% sure it will come 🙂 so don’t worry my beloved strangers.

When I was younger  I started to create a JAR.
A jar full of my wishes, beliefs, hopes,,,something, someone, somewhere….everything 🙂 and actually it helps me from time to time to open that jar and read all of it in once. All the quotes, sentences, wishes all numbered, little pictures I drew and a lot more 🙂 because when I read it I don’t feel so lost in that moment…I feel that something good’s gonna happen.

If you are struggling with anything bad in your life, hold on, you will figure out the way out of the tunel soon 😉 I promise that everything’s gonna be okay. And if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

Thank you for reading my todays piece, it means so much to me 🙂

N