Covid Diary Part 3 – “What is going to happen tomorrow?”

What am I supposed to do, other than clean the apartment, cook lunch and watch the whole Netflix, every day?

Those were my thoughts during the first weeks of quarantine.
I remember waking up in the morning, staring into the wall, being like ” “am I going to be fancy today and finally switch from pajamas into sweatpants?” or “I have not washed my hair in like a week…to wash or not to wash?” or even “am I going to watch 2 or 3 whole series today?” and so on.

I am 100% sure that I am not the only one. The safe haven of bed or couch was something that we all welcomed with opened arms at the very beginning of the pandemic (some of us still do that even today), because our tired bodies and minds craved it. After some time the feeling of being tired got switched to being bored because you finished Netflix and other similar platforms.
There were some rare days when I grabbed the car keys, went to the nearest town (where I worked), bought myself a gas station coffee/ smokes and sat in front of the building where I worked at that time (a small caffe) in a locked car, I drank my coffee in silence, smoked a few cigarettes and went home.
There was nothing to do.
Nowhere to go from there.
Just waiting
and waiting
and waiting
…for the better days to come.

I remember going to buy groceries for the first time in weeks wearing protective mask, over that protective mask I wore a scarf. I also wore glasses ( prescription ones, that I am supposed to wear everyday because I am legally blind *haha*, but since I was a rebel at that time, I used to leave them at home, walking the earth half blind), a beanie (because I have not washed my hair in forever) and a hoodie over my head. I was also wearing gloves and no jewelery, scared to even look at people who were touching baked goods with their “naked” hands. That was the initial feeling of going out to public after some time being hidden behind the walls of our home- being scared to even touch a grocery cart because of germs.
In the store there was literally one empty shelve after another- people started to bake like crazy, there was no flour, no yeast because some morons decided to buy 40-50 pieces and did not care that other people might be interested as well- and that, my friends, lasted for like first 3-4 months.

We lacked disinfection products because of hoarders as well, everything was sold out and nobody knew when the shops, groceries, pharmacies or even e-shops would restock. I remember seeing a video, from groceries where some lady screamed at a grocery employee (fifty shades of disgusting swear words) because she was “sure” that the employee hid some disinfecting products in the back for herself. It was disgusting to watch the poor employee trying to explain that the prodducts were sold out, but the angry lady would not stop yelling. It was horrible to watch. And do not let me start on the disinfection soap- ladies and gentlemen, people started to wash their hands in 2020- wow!!
The only thing that was easy to get were protective masks- people were really nice about it at first, for example villages sewed masks for all the people who needed it (for example where I live, every house got one or two per person according to the number of people living in one house). There were also a lot of tutorials trending over the whole Internet, how to make your own mask at home, using only a sock or whatever, that was also nice and innovative. People tried their best…and I think some of them are still trying.

It was kind of spooky to look around- we have never had any kind of pandemic of this level here, so seeing people with masks, applying hand sanitizer every few minutes, not laughing together, not sitting at caffes, enjoying a hot beverage or meal together…was kind of overwhelming. We all had to adapt to this new world, whether we liked it or not.
It was like the sun was suddenly covered by a heavy grey cloud and the sun have not come out since. Do not take me in a wrong way- there were some good days, I am not saying there were not, but the pressure of the situation was still with us, with a never ending question overstaying its welcome in our minds, rotating day and night- “What is going to happen tomorrow?”

I have never been scared for my own health, since I am still young and if anything happened to me, I would be able to overcome it, but I am living with other much older people and I was scared for them, their health, their life- never mine. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them because of me. I am still till this day trying to protect myself the best I can because the worries never left my body.

At the beginning there was an irrational fear, then there was not and then it was here in a new form again.

Stick around if you want to find out why.

N.

Covid Diary Part 2 – How it all started

“…locked in our castles, waiting for a key or a potion to set us all free.”

Hey there!

Isn’t it strange that we are actually living in a movie Contagion (2011) for almost a year? If you guys did not see it, you should totally watch it because now, we are like the main protagonists of a very long movie, trying to survive whatever comes into our way.
Not that I want to sound depressing that this situation will never end, but a year is a freaking long time and if you are reading from Europe or America or wherever in the world, all of our countries have different levels of madness there, I am sure of that, but we still have the same reality- living with a virus that is not ready to leave us alone.

I actually think a lot about the day it started and I wanted to share it with you, because the way I looked at things, it was literally like cut out of some weird apocalyptic movie. It was a day just like other days, of course there was weird stuff in the news and in the papers previous days, but I was not giving it so much attention, because I thought it was just some exaggeration -per usual.

It happened on 13th March, I was at work, just minding my own business- I was working at a caffe in a small town where I live, I was of course noticing that there were not so many people that day, but I did not really care because there are days and days- one day you have 50 customer and the next you have 20, I was glad I can rest and read some barista book someone left at the counter.

I was dealing with an order of an older couple who came in and simultaneously reading how to make a beautiful coffee art and I suddenly got a call from my boss that something is wrong, that she have seen a lot of police cars from her window at home, that went to this one bar across her street and a lot of people leaving after the police come into the building. She said that she will call me when she knows more.

So I just went on with my work, cleaned the dishes a little, restocked the fridge, but then suddenly I noticed a police car stopping in front of the caffe. We had these big ass windows, so I saw very clearly who came out of the car. The two police men that stepped out I knew personally (I live in a very small town, so it is not so hard to make “connections”- *laughs*, nah, I am just kidding, they are my neighbors), so I thought they are on the break and coming in for some coffee and chill. They came in and I was like “Hey guys, business or pleasure today?” – I smiled and I was truly amused by my horribly awkward joke, but they were not amused at all, which was a first red flag. One of them just leaned on the bar, lowered his voice and asked me why is the caffe still opened, I was like “Is something wrong? What’s up?” And he just said that I have to ask everyone to leave and close the caffe or else my boss will get a huge fine for not respecting the decree – the covid virus is getting out of control and all cafes’ bars and everything that has nothing to do with groceries, pharmacy or shops essential for living has to close immediately. I just stood there and looked at them like what the fuck? They quickly explained that if the caffe is not closed till noon they have to report it. And then they left.

Once the door closed behind them, I called my boss and she told me with a very sad voice to politely ask the customers to leave immediately and lock up. I did as she asked, people were so nice and they all paid and left in a hurry. I locked up and was waiting for my boss and my colleague to arrive, we cleaned up a little, had a last coffee together, talked for a while and I packed my stuff and I was ready to leave- at that minute I felt that something was ending as well as some kind of tension in my stomach, like I was afraid of going out of the caffe because somewhere deep inside I knew that this is over and something bad is waiting for me once I leave. Yeah, I told you that it felt like a dystopian movie, where very very weird shit was about ho happen.

I went to groceries afterwards to buy some food because I remember that I checked the fridge at the morning and it was lonely, sad and empty. I came to the shop and all I saw was madness- people grabbing food in a hurry, I actually saw some people fight over yeast for baking which made me roll my eyes in disbelief. I was passing empty shelves, like the world was literally ending and we have to hide into our bomb shelters and wait there till the next winter. I am not making fun of the situation, on the contrary, I was terrified, I did not know what to expect in the next days, so I just grabbed what I needed and quickly tried to exit, but my phone started ringing.

I looked at the screen and it was my future mother in law, asking me if I can stop by pharmacy, because they need some meds. I was like no problemo, I can stop by the pharmacy, since I needed some stuff from there as well. The pharmacy was only a few meters away from where I was standing, but as I was looking at my phone I did not notice a huge queue of people and I came to the door and as I wanted to enter, but an old, very unpleasant lady told me to go back into the queue because she was standing there for 10minutes now. I just looked at her like what? Looked over my shoulder and noticed that there are like 10 angry people looking at me very in a very dangerous way, so I just apologized and went to the back of the queue. As I was standing there I had some time to read the online news and as I read article after article, I got more and more scared. After excruciating 25minutes of waiting, I finally got into the pharmacy, where I asked for some meds and I wanted two packages of everything I asked for, but the lady behind the counter told me that she can only give me one package of each, because of the decree from “above”- aka to prevent hoarders to buy 20 packages and other people would not get to buy them. I tried to explain that one is not for me, but she did not really care and told me that I can leave with only one, so I gave up and took the one she offered me.

Afterwards I still had some time, so I went outside and decided to go to another pharmacy to get other meds. As I was walking through town, the whole atmosphere was strange, it was sunny outside, but windy and the wind was very cold and sneaking under the clothes, inside to the bones. Even the weather felt that something is going on. I saw people rushing home, trying to be at least a few meters away from other people walking on the street, they were frowning, what was not that weird- but they were frightened. I came to the other pharmacy and after I walked in, the lady behind the counter told me that they are out of the necessary meds- freaking hoarders got to them first. Long story short, I tried two more pharmacies and finally got everything I needed and I was waiting for my bf to come and pick me up.

He finally came and I sat into the warm car, totally cold as ice, and as we were passing the streets I was just looking out of the window, thinking what the hell I just witnessed…I was just shocked, quite scared and felt a little nervous because I was not sure what to expect in next days…I did not know at that time that a year will pass and I would be writing about it, because it is still going on, locked in our castles, waiting for a key or a potion to set us all free.
Back then it was new and scary- today, it is just scary and I still cannot wrap my head around it, I still somehow wait that I will wake up from this weird dream and everything will be different…but then I am not sure if things would have happened the same if the situation around us was different. Well, what to say…stick around if you want to read more 🙂 (cheesy? yea well, every good story has a sequel)

But for now, let me stop here.

But not for long.

See ya.

N.

Covid Diary Part 1 – This is a process

Do you ever just shotgun your morning coffee and for like 5 minutes have hope that everything is gonna be okay?

~

Then you look out of the window, see the empty streets, only a few people rushing to work, while they still can, and you think about the whole situation, while trying to wake your mind up.

It has really been almost a year since we are locked in our houses and there is not much to do, just to be glad that you still have a job, that you can go to groceries, that you can even go to your own garden a breathe a fresh air that did not come out of anyones lungs at home. Look at it from the other side and for now, be happy for the small things, because even small things might help you hold your head above the water.

Enjoy a beautiful sunset.
Enjoy a good laugh.
Enjoy your favorite meal.
Enjoy small things for once, because not everything has to be big and monumental all the time.

I am a stay-at-home person, I do not really mind staying home because that is just the person I am, I do not suffer because I cannot go out and meet people- I used to have a contact job where I met numerous people every single day and I enjoyed it- the small talks, coffees, the contact in general, but after some time at home I stopped having the urge to go out. Of course, I miss my close circle I used to have, but people are having their own problems and their own life to deal with now and I think it is time to hold on and hope for a better tomorrows, no matter how long we will have to- and that is what is important right now.

I understand that people are depressed because they cannot go out and have fun like they used to, and they do not really want to hear a classic phrase “Just keep a positive mindset!” …sometimes all they need to hear is “Look, I know this fucking sucks right now, but I know you and I know how strong you are and you can push through this!” and man, that is one of the most powerful and calming things you can tell somebody who really needs to hear it.

Have you ever thought about the reasons, why this situation might not be as bad as it seems?

Now you get to spend a little bit time with yourself, deal with your inner demons, calm down, realize things that you were supposed to realize long time ago and focus on you and your mental health, in order to be better and most importantly, feel better with yourself.

Use this time to maybe rediscover something that has been thrown into the corner of your mind and let it fulfill you again.

Rediscover songs that you used to listen to and think about how they make you feel alive again, reminisce about how they made you feel, listen to every word and let it consume you.

Reach out to people you have not been in contact with for some time, because you never know if they are not feeling the same. Talk to one another, be there for each other.

This is a process.
Focus on you.
Enjoy small things.
This is something that may help us reboot our systems.
To realize that we are actually lucky to be here today.
That we are healthy.
That we are still here.
Because so many people do not have that luxury nowadays.

Think about it.

N.

Who we truly are

It is unbelievable how many people are trying to pretend that they are somebody else.

Like they are pretending that thoughts in their head are being managed by somebody totally different. Just like somebody else just took over their head on their command. The same “somebody else” who fears on behalf of them, someone who takes over everything, who spins all the doubts in their head like over a thousand times a day. Someone who repeats that one mistake all over again for them, while swearing it as the last time now.

What do they get from it?
Is it like a some kind of twisted pleasure?
Really?
Or is it just a sweet feeling?
To die while you are still alive.

What really interests me, when will I ever give up on talking and writing. I will not explain things to those who do not understand and those who do I have nothing to say to.
And yet, I am still trying, like a fool.

Just a habit…habit, habit, habit- repeating itself.

N.

WEEK 9 part 1- Last three days in Germany, DEATH experience and a very hasty packing (Summer experience in Germany)

 

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If you haven’t read  →WEEK 8 ← already, you have to because it is deeply connected to this one, at least with the ending.

SUNDAY

Long story short- we had to move to a different location for our last three days in Munich. So imagine us, for two months living with just people in my age (approximately 18-25), all from the same country and then you come to a house that is actually cut out from 90s movies. Where you experience death stares just because you are trying to get your luggage up to the second floor and you’re basically gonna get killed (either with eyes or with a knife).
I might be exaggerating a little, but that was my first impression, okay?

We finished moving,so the unpacking part came to the plate. Well, we packed sloppily since we knew we have to repack in like three days, showed everything into cupboards, under bed, on the fridge…everywhere was something. The little OCD cleaning freak inside of my head nearly died these few months but I was like “shut the hell up, it’s not for life, calm down” – your German mantra.

And man!! That shopping cart was so helpful.

First (minor) problem- weird people staring
Second (bigger) problem- where the fuck are toilets and showers?
Third (kind of a big) problem- I am gonna get stabbed to the neck if I want to go downstairs to the kitchen full of middle aged Romanian workers to prepare myself a meal for the next days lunch?

Shove it Shakespeare with your “to be or not to be? – that is the question”, unfortunately this ↑ was an important question.
But okay, I am still here so I am alive and kicking and I survived the fight for the MF cooker!

MONDAY

The only thing I remember about from this day was that me and L came home from work and all we wanted was to eat and go to the shower. What was really “odd” – we did not really know if there are some “girl” showers. So I took it as a scavenger hunt and tried to talk to girls downstairs, if they know something. I got to know that there is one shower that is just for girls- achievement unlocked!! I got the key and me and L went to observe it.
I was not really surprised when we found 1 m x 1 m big room with shower, sink and a toilet, what a smart move. But, what surprised me the most was the “hole” that was supposed to be a shower from where the water was, not “normally flowing”, but splashing all around not even directly on you, okayyy thanks a lot. Last but not least, what freaked me out the most was the amount of dirt that came out of the drain once you showered more than 2 minutes. Well- fuck, only two days left N, just hold on!!

TUESDAY

And believe me, you really  want to stay here for this one.

Working day, like every other one. The only different thing was that me Matt, L and Matthew met after work on Marien Platz to make some “final cut” shopping since we were leaving Germany on Wednesday.

We were there for a few hours and I did not really paid attention to messenger and stuff but once I opened it I saw like 40 messages in a group chat (people from the old house) we had. I scrolled up to the first message and read as fast as I could.

Once I saw words like POLICE and FIRE FIGHTERS and WE CAN’T COME INTO THE HOUSE…I was like what the fuck happened. And then I read a bit more and…

The quite important thing I did not mention – the whole second floor was so smelly I thought I was gonna die once I entered it. Everyone thought it was just trash (2 huge cans were in the corners) or toilets or whatever. LSS, we did not really pay attention to it.

…I found out there was a DEAD BODY two rooms from mine. What was not surprising now- the smell was coming from under the the room door since the guy was DEAD FOR OVER 4 DAYS at that point. Oh god.
Later on we got to know that it was an old guy living there for many years, apparently liked to drink a lot and must have had an heart attack or whatever. The people from the house haven’t seen him in a while and once hey stepped inside of his room, they got to know why.
This could only happen the last day us being there! What are the freaking odds??

What was most disgusting about this whole thing,(fortunately the police let us to our room), the police was in and out of the room like every 5 minutes, coroner had to examine the body, pack up all the evidence…blah blah blah, long story short they were there for 8 hours and just then they took the body away. The amount of smell that was at that hall was just everything- even if we closed the door, the smell was coming from under them anyway, which was unbelievable. A few of us gathered in one room and drank beer and talked about it a little afterwards. I remember it was around midnight and I was sitting in the opened window (because the smell was just horrendous) smoking with S, we were talking a little, reminiscing about all the things that have happened during these 2 months…it was officially my last night in Germany.

Let me pause here and leave it for now since it is a long ass story-time.

See you in → part 2 ← now!!

N.

WEEK 8, Part 2- Getting a Twenty Euro Tip from a Stranger and Moving to a “New” House- STORY TIME 4/4 (Summer experience in Germany)

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3.

It was Saturday about 12 o clock and me and Matt were sitting in tram on our was home from work and talking like we always did. I noticed a middle aged guy looking at us once in a while and had a feeling that he was able to understand our language. Firstly I thought that he is from Serbia, because our languages are pretty similar, but then I was like nah, he is just looking around and this is just a coincidence.

I was heading to Marien Platz to grab something to eat and Matt was heading back to the House, but as soon as he got a call from Matthew he sat on metro and came to Marien Platz as well. It turned out that Matthew decided to go to the streets and play the guitar and sing for money, but one of his strings broken and Matt had to come there and help him find a music shop where he can replace the string.
So once he got to the station point we got on the next Metro and headed to Marien. And guess what? The guy from tram was here again and sat in the box with us. I was like what the hell..how come? This town is too big to see somebody for more than one time! What is this? But I was still like- okay, that shit just happens from time to time.

 

Marien Platz 🙂 

Matthew picked out the most frequent part of the street, stood there and played his ass off. It was kinda interesting to watch that goofy guy wanting to act all serious and shit but as soon as he saw us he stopped because he got embarrassed. Matt found him a music shop pretty nearby the place where we were standing at that moment so he packed up all of his things and we headed there. As soon as we came there a guy behind the counter directed us upstairs so Matthew can buy a string and play a little bit more. When we climbed the stairs I noticed the same guy from the tram and Metro was looking at sound systems!  I just whispered to guys that “What the hell? What a stalker” (of course in our language) and the guy just turned around and with a smile on his face said: “You look familiar!” (of course in OUR LANGUAGE!) oh hell…
I was just jaw down looking at him like what the actual fuck…like I knew that in Munich are living a lot of people from my country but to encounter one guy in one hour and already 3 times and then learn that he comes from the same country as you do? Okay *nervous laugh* ! I knew that he understood what was I saying in the tram!! My gut was right.

We chatted a while about a few things, we got to know that he is a musician as well, then he explained that he lived in Munich for a year now and have never met a person from our country, so he did not make any friend that would talk in the same language as he did. Not that that was a problem or anything but it seemed a little off.
Anyway, he went back to his business and Matthew bought a new string for his guitar. While he was changing the string the guy came down to the cashier and gave her a shit load of money for the sound system and for some instrument. Then he came to us and told Matthew: “I’ve heard you playing on the streets and it sounded really really good, I was impressed.” and then he handed him a 20 euro bill and said that it is for a fellow musician and that he was young as well and certainly knows how hard is it to play on the streets just like that. We were all blown away with his generosity.
Naturally, Matthew did not want to accept it but the guy was adamant and did not want to take the bill back. We thanked him like 5 times because something like this just do not happen in normal life.
When we left the store Matthew was so happy that he invited us to grab Kebab to have this little celebratory junk food.
It was a good day, because who wouldn’t want a free lunch?
Count me in!

***

4.

But the next day was THE day.
We got a message from the lady who was mediating this whole “working experience”, as well as accommodation, that we have to move out from our beloved House, for *wait for it* 3 days!!
We were supposed to leave back to our home country in 3 days and now we had to move into a new location…I was so angry you can’t even imagine.
So on Sunday imagine me and L trying to pack everything into like 6512647 bags (even more bags we originally came with) – but now for real- both of us ended up with like 7 bags+ a huge suitcase. The new House we were supposed to move was like 3 stops away from our House so imagine us dragging half of the bags with us (+the suitcases) to the metro station then to the new House (we were living on the 2nd floor- well done) and again back to our old House for the next round of bags.

When we came to the old House for the second, and also the last time everything became really quiet. Like too quiet. There was no laughter from the rooms, no music from the kitchen, no cursing from the washing room…depressing quietness.
We checked if we did not forget something by accident in any room, ate our last meal in the kitchen, drank our last coffee in front of the house, I lit up my last cigarette there as well. It was kinda peaceful and dignified way to say our final goodbye to the House we spend almost 2 months in. The only thing that was off was the weather since it was cloudy and dark.

When we were making our last selfie in front of the House and a sudden weather miracle happened.

There was a field in front of our House and when you looked at it, it was now crossed by a strip of pure sunlight. The exact minute when we were leaving the house for good the clouds retreated and one of the most beautiful sunsets occurred right in front of our eyes. I can’t imagine a better way how could have Garching said its last goodbye to us.

I am really happy that I got a chance to live in this House even though the showers were always full, as well as toilets and do not let me started about kitchen- but it had its charm and now when some time passed, I can say it was the best House we could have had.
DO you know why?
Because the worst was just coming. 

I will explain everything in WEEK 9 –  because it will be a raw description of events that occurred in the last three days in Munich.
And it was drastic.
Literally.

Don’t miss it and prepare for the story time that will leave you speechless.

N.

P.s: The last 4 photos are L’s- the credit belongs to you my dear, huge thank you again!!

WEEK 8, Part 1- The Half Survival of my iPhone Under the Water and Late to Work for the FIRST Time – STORY TIME 2/4 (Summer experience in Germany)

 

 

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1.

Previously in WEEK 7: I was under the impression that everything is gone…all the pictures from Germany, all the blogs I have pre-written…other more than 1000 pictures…I was devastated, I had a big part of my life there.
Everything became dark.
That is the reason I have no more new pictures for you and I am so so sorry but that is the truth, but…

BUT

I woke up on Monday and I was still very sad, thought that I really lost everything, so after work I decided to turn it on. I was pretty nervous, shaking and on the edge with tears but I was on a call with my dear and he pushed me to do it and assured me that it will 100% work. He was actually a big help in this and I wanna thank him that he did not freak out with me and had his calm mode on.
So, I manned up and said to myself a magical sentence- “You’re gonna survive this”, and I picked it out from the rice bowl and pushed the on/off button.
Imagine me in shock finding out that I just touched the button and it lighted up. First thought was like fuck yea it survived!! But then I was like wait, how come it is “on” immediately without the whole process of turning on? Was it possible that I did not turn it off properly?
Well anyway, the next thing that made me tear up was the screen, because it was “under the water”. It was half smeared with water and different shades of colors, so I started to cry partly out of relieve and partly because I was still unsure. Like, I know that I am maybe doing a big deal out of it (which I 100% am), but I was in a foreign country, wanted to absorb everything through pictures and suddenly I was not able to do it. After a better analyze I figured out that the camera is dead and is not working at all. Firstly it was just smeared as hell but after like an hour it went completely blank, as well as the light function. First thing I’ve done was that I quickly transfered every single picture to the USB I had there with me, as well as all the pre-written blogs and everything that might come in handy. Jacks and charging fortunately survived (yasss!!!) and another good thing was that the phone after about 3 days almost fully dried off, so I was really happy at least for this.

This was a perfect example of a “blessing in disguise“-  it worked for everything, but one of the most important things on it was dead.
The only thing I can say is, shit happens, I guess.
Now, even though I have like literally no pockets on my trousers, I always double check if I have something in those non existent pockets, just in case.

***

In the Week 8, I decided to make a little stop (again) and make it a PART 1 and PART 2 because those two last weeks were like packed with happenings. No pictures, but at least a story time!!

***

2.

Another surprising thing that happened was that for almost 2 months of waking up to work at the same time, we came late to work, for the first time. But it was not just like an ordinary “oversleeping situation”, but kind of a big trouble.

So, since a lot of people left back to our country as I mentioned in WEEK 7, a lot of rooms were empty and M decided that he wants to sleep in one of them to finally have a decent sleep at least for a night or two.
The thing was that he was living in a room with two other guys and spared the door with other 6 people in the next room. Like 90% of the House were waking up more than 2 hours earlier than him and they always woke him up literally in the middle of the night. That’s why he was happy that he can sleep somewhere else even though the end of our trip was almost at the end. He only brought his pc, pyjamas and breakfast with him and …read for yourself ↓

The morning came and I usually wake up two hours earlier before we were leaving, so I washed my hair, had breakfast, coffee, made myself a decent looking human being and right when we were supposed to leave I open my door to see M standing in the hall, in pyjamas with a phone on his ear speaking something about locked door…I was immediately like fuck no. So it turned out that his roommates locked him out from their room and he did not bring any clothes no keys, no ID or backpack with him, so that was kind of a problem because he couldn’t go to work in PJ’s.

Well long story short, we were screwed because I was the only other (living) person in the House, I had to help him. I was angry as hell and started to run on my Metro because I was kinda late (as usual).

It was then 7:07 am.
On my way to the Metro I called L and explained the whole situation to her and asked her to reach out to K (M’s roomie) because, as we figured, he was the one who locked the door, had the key and at the same time he was closest to the House. I texted with him in Metro and he told me he will be waiting on me at the station so he can give me keys.
I was like “Can you come to the station? Like won’t it be a trouble?” and he was like “Yea, might be a trouble but what can I do?”
I finally came to his station, it was like 7:33 am and he just handed me the keys said that he was sorry for maybe 4th time and I immediately jumped on a Metro that was coming back to the House.
I arrived at the house approximately at 7:50 am and we were supposed to be at work at 8 am.
M got dressed, I was still kinda pissed at the whole situation because I fucking hate being late! I do that from time to time but just to let you know I really hate myself for that. Our next Metro was leaving at 8:11 am and the whole ride to work we were trying to figure out what are we gonna say to the boss but at the end just told the truth.

When we arrived at work it was, I guess, 8:40 am and our boss was already waiting for us, a little scared, but as soon as she saw us she was kinda relieved and happy to see us. There was no problem with coming late, since we explained what happened.

There you go guys, those were only 2 stories that happened during the WEEK 8 and there are 2 more!!

Have a little patience with me please, I know I did not post for a while but the truth is, that my heart somehow did not want it to end that quickly. You see.

Thank you for reading my journey, because this is really happening- only two more episodes till the very end.

N.

 

WEEK 7-Hysterical Saturday Happening, Inevitable Goodbyes and a Message to Young Adults (SUMMER EXPERIENCE IN GERMANY)

***

The seventh week was kind of weak, since we had a lot to do and no time to just live the ordinary and chilled life we wanted. Hell yea, we came here to work, but still, we all wanted a little while for ourselves and just rest and do, well actually nothing. If you don’t want that, just raise your hand.

We had only two weeks to the very end and since there were a few people who were still on high school they had to pack their stuff and leave. Unfortunately, there was no other choice. There was this- people have built a few incredible friendships here at the House, that kind of friendships that are not easy to forget.

The House started to become quieter and quieter because there was the date of 1st of September and a few people were already gone as I mentioned, then 8th of September- more people left and when on 13th of September the main gate closed behind a few others, the air became “totally different”. That day we went to sleep with a weird quietness around us (if we are not counting this German guy who lived in the same “hall” of the House as me and had TV on till like 4 am.- every single freaking day!!), no people laughing and drinking downstairs, no girls smoking outside while drinking beer, no people talking in the halls, nobody tripping on the stairs anymore…it was kind of a unbelievable happening out there. When we somehow got used to the noise, it suddenly stopped. There were only 10 of us left.
It was official.
But I am foreshadowing now. ↓↓↓

This week was the last for high schoolers as I mentioned. Over the course of these two months I had the opportunity to talk to each and every one of you and I have to say, people are so so different and I was able to see it there. One of them was about to go to study Japanese language, other two fell in love in here (spoiler alert: A and B!!!) and are currently experiencing a distance relationship – coincidentally with women from our country since at the House we were all from one country,another one has been working many jobs and is still at high school, guys…like I can’t even, the diversity of people is just too much for me sometimes. I like that every single on of them was different…it does make a human being feel special at some point. And that’s why I want to dedicate this one to you, my young adults. And again, I know that none of you will never stumble upon this blog, but at least I can be general.

To all of you out there: I know that you might be insecure or scared about what’s gonna happen next, but honestly, don’t be. Life has something terrific for you, it has its aces in its sleeves. It always has. When I was 18, I would kill for a good advice. As a matter of fact, your life is just starting now.
Travel as much as you can.
Meet new people.
Experience the unknown.
Take pictures.
Fall in love.
Go nuts. Go crazy.
Laugh.
Enjoy the life to the fullest.
When something fucks up just talk to yourself like: ” Look I know that you are upset and sad right now, but there are worst things that might happen and didn’t yet, it is not the end of the world.”

And that’s it…it is not the end of the world. Not everyone is able to understand or accept that when something fucked up happens. So I am just letting you know that there is always a new day if you did not happen to know. Don’t worry.

“Thank you to all of you that I was talking about…you guys…you can make big things, just don’t give up and be good people…I wish nothing more.”

***

You guys you won’t even be able to understand what happened next because I am still not in a state of mind that I accept that happening.
Saturday- 2nd September:
As usual, we went to work. Most of the people were asleep since there was a party on Friday (again, as usual). I was in a hurry because I was kind of late (as usual again and again) and I just needed to go pee so freaking much you can’t even imagine so I sprinted to the bathroom left my bag outside but brought my phone with me I don’t even know why and put it into my back pocket. I am pretty sure you now know where am I heading with this. So as I was pulling the pants down I just heard a dull sound and a splash….I immediately knew that I fucked up, big time. So at that particular second without even thinking, I reached for my beloved old phone into the toilet (experienced enough from work) and started to shake like those little bag dogs when they are cold. I was in shock, I run out (with my pants back on) of the bathroom and started to cry so hard. I sat on stairs I turn the phone off  because it is always necessary to do it when something like this happens (and it stayed off till Monday ↓) and was not able to move. It all happened during like 1 minute and 30 seconds but it was like an hour for me. We had to hurry the hell up because we were already late for out Metro and needed to get to work on time. Imagine me having a mental breakdown because of the phone, crying the whole way to work (like 45 minutes) and then sobbing for like the half of our Saturday shift…I was a mess guys. I was under the impression that everything is gone…all the pictures from Germany, all the blogs I have pre-written…other more than 1000 pictures…I was devastated, I had a big part of my life there.
Everything became dark.
Like these pictures.

Thank God that after I calmed down and stopped having like 25th panic attack in a row I got an idea. I had a tablet with me there and that little thingie was able to accept SIM cards. Way to go- I went to buy a reduction to a electronic shop and was able to talk on the phone and have a few of the apps that I had in my phone. The funniest thing was, that when I was phoning somebody it looked like I was holding a flat TV on my ear.

That is the reason I have no more new pictures for you and I am so so sorry but that is the truth, but…

More on this Friday be continued on Monday in Week 8, I guess.You will get to know what more happened and if my three year old iPhone survived the encounter with water.

WEEK 8 is coming guys and you will get to know what happened- stay tuned, the end is really really close.

N.

***

P.s: For the header image I am thankful to L, she was willing to give me a few pictures she took so I have at least something since the accident..so again T H A N K * Y O U darling!

WEEK 6, PART 2- The Worst Awakening, Alps Mountain Climbing and a Birthday Cake (Summer experience in Germany)

Part II.
***

The weekend of the sixth weekend was kind of long. Let me explain.
On Saturday we were working our butts off, as usual. Matt was having his birthday on Sunday and wanted to invite some friends over for a drink and a little chat on Saturday night. So be it.
Annnnd on Saturday I made a cake!! Oh okay you though I was baking- hmm let me let you down- I bought a frozen cake (muhaha) and even though it was a frozen kind it was delicious (and a little bit burned but that happens to everyone, right?)

It was a chilled night, we relaxed and chatted in kitchen space, drinking and (in my case) just trying to be social.
A little before midnight a lot of people went to sleep or left to catch one of the last metros and I just simply waited till the midnight to officially wish him the best in the world for his 24th birthday! What a good friend I am. But then, we both had to go to sleep because at the morning we were heading towards another adventure- Neuschwanstein Castle ↓

What is the best morning you could ever have? – being awaken 30 minutes before the alarm by a huge noise, drunk people talking in your room and a unknown man in the opposite bed of mine? If you responded with this- you are right. Such a delightful happening. I started to yell at them to leave the fucking room and go talk somewhere else. Little harsh, but shit happens. Positive vibes only.
We woke up with L (and a few other people) made breakfast, packed our bags and left the house in a good mood anyway. We were traveling by train, 3 hours away from Munich, hoping that we will come to the right destination. I ordered myself to sleep a little but the sleep was not coming so I listened to music the whole ride there. When we finally arrived it was kind of smothery weather, like it’s about to rain. When we took off the train we had to quickly from train station to the bus that was about to bring us to the “village” where the castle was situated.

There were 4 places we wanted to see that day- Neuschwanstein Castle, Hohenschwangau Castle, Alpen See and the town/village we came to.
We managed to see 3/4 and which were those 3 you are about to read.

First of all we went to see the Hohenschwangau Castle because it was the closest.

We had to “climb” up the hill and man, it was something. But yea, beautiful area, views, architecture…something for me. The first problem that I detected when we came there was that it was really overcrowded- I mean, when I wanted to take a picture I had to wait for like 10 people to move out of my lens and you can easily imagine the rage I was going through every single time *haha*

The next on the list was Alpen See (Alp Sea). Since we were really close to Alps clearly saw the beautiful mountains in the background.

I have to admit it took my breath away, the view was just marvelous.
We, as a group, even made a Polaroid picture that I took because I am kind of a freak with this- I love collecting them.

I wanted to dedicate this one to all of you guys who came to the trip with me- Even though the day started kind of shitty but you were able to make my day better. Thank you for a sweet and a positive trip where I felt like a part of group and not just like an outcast. Even though we did not know each other so well, I had a nice time with all of you and I am really grateful for that. These Sundays were just about this- go out, see the parts we haven’t seen before and just have a good time. Thank you for that, even though you will never read this, but you are all appreciated in the best way possible. 

And now- *drum rolls* – the main course, ladies and gentleman- Neuschwanstein Castle.
To be completely honest, it really was beautiful. We didn’t get to go inside of the castle since first of all we were supposed to book the tour 2 days before coming and secondly- the tour was only 30 mins.

But there was still one stop that made my heart stop a little- Marien Brücke aka Marien Bridge.

Can you see the long bridge in the distance? Well this was the view from the castle.

And this was the view from the bridge.

Anyway, it was a really long bridge as well as full of people who were trying to take the perfect picture of the castle. After a while it became too much for me because I was feeling that I am getting a panic attack because of that so I just left. Before that I quickly snapped the board with the story behind the bridge.

And I also took a picture of what is under the bridge (water? Is that you?)

 

And the views? just amazing!!

You can clearly see the whole are around the castle, I was mesmerized.

When we were leaving I run into my family that is living in Munich, particularly my cousin with his parents and wife. We were chatting on the phone on Saturday and I was kinda hoping I will meet them and coincidentally it happened! We stood there and chat for a few minutes and then our paths split hence there were going to see the castle and we were just leaving.

After like 3 and a half hours of walking we were too dead to see the town so we skipped this part and just sat on the bench half sleeping half scrolling on the phones. I was completely exhausted.
When we were ready to leave the information board was telling us that our train was canceled due to some reconstruction work on the railways. I was like what the fuck, no!
Well luckily the next train was about to come in another 30 mins.
Thank God!

I comfortably sat down in the train, preparing for the best exhaustion sleep ever and suddenly my phone rang.
It was my cousin telling me to look over my shoulder. So my sleep was again canceled due to family meeting. But I was still glad I got to meet with them and chat for more than like 3 seconds.

We came to Munich after 2 hours of train ride and I just remember me being mind absent all the time till we came home and I got to eat and sleep.

My whole impression? It was a really beautiful trip, the only thing that made me really say “wow” was the Alpen See because in the country where I come from we have a lot of castles and historical stuff. But still- Both of these castles were so so beautiful.
One thing that made me anxious and mad was that that day was a very shitty light outside. The sun was out for one minute and then hiding behind the clouds and I was almost unable to take good pictures. Everything was either too bright or too dark- that was the thing that disappointed me the most about the trip.

But anyway I came home exhausted as hell and that particular exhaustion was a good one with my head full of memories and satisfaction.

The end is coming soon-> Week 7

N.

WEEK 6, PART 1- * S A L V A D O R * D A L Í * Biblia Sacra exhibition (Summer experience in Germany)

***

And I am back with my journey in the sixth week!

While I am writing this, it is a Monday morning on week 7, sitting in our cleaning room, going through the pictures I have taken and reminiscing about the sixth week.
I always do that, since my mind is like a goldfish and I tend to forget so so much that happened- so I take pictures and whenever I look at particular one, I usually get the particular memory in my head. At least something because sometimes I don’t even remember what I had for lunch the day before.

***
But anyway, this week contents 2 major trips/visitations.
I want to make it easier to read so I am gonna split into 2 parts so you can enjoy both in the better way than joined together. Sit tight and make yourself at home.

This week started with an unexpected turn- we were going to see exhibition of Salvador Dalí- Biblia Sacra. Yea, on Monday evening I came from work, packed myself a small bag and went to see this genius with my own eyes.
The exhibition was happening till 10 pm, so we had a lot of time for exploring. The exhibition was divided into 2 parts- 1st was full of Salvador Dalí’s biblical images and the 2nd was Dante Alighieri and his collection of biblical art.

The first part was a really quiet one. As you know when you come to a gallery everyone is just whispering when they want to say a word or two to their companion. Generally, it all had kind of a calm and peaceful vibe. We came as a medium big group but quickly divided into small ones or even to singles. I went all alone because every time I come to any kind of gallery, I like to explore on my own. And I also wanna take pictures (even though in most cases it is forbidden) because that’s kind of a person I am. Or I just want you all to see it? Questionable.

Anyway, I went from one corner to another, seeing all those colors as well as not that colorful ones, enjoying the quietness and my imagination of “what can I personally see in the paintings” was about to start.

Since there was a huge sign “no pictures allowed”, I made my “alone journey” a bit quicker, took pictures and then went one more time, but slower.

The whole point of the exhibition was cut out of the Bible, as you can tell from the title of the whole opening. Basically everything from the real start of the world to the very last battle in the Heaven. I don’t know how many of you are religiously involved here, but this is it, this is the truth.
These paintings were mostly from the year ’64 so that must have been a pretty pro creative year for Dalí.
But, let me cut this short, these are the ones that caught my eye the most:

***

After we came out it was kind of dark a this was the area that was in the middle of it

The second part of the exhibition was dedicated to works of Dante Alighieri as I mentioned earlier- but there were really no pictures allowed. When we walked into the room all camera ready, it turned out that there is a guard. Well, a man with a long hair in ponytail, sitting on a high chair, with an angry face, drawing something on a small piece of paper. Every time someone got too close to something he got all nervous and started to warn people to not to touch that or that…
But I still managed to make at least two pictures (yasss!)

The gallery was situated near one beautiful place (packed with people of course) in Munich: Karls Platz.
Basically it is something like a passenger square with a fountain and shops that were put into old and I would say some of them into a historical buildings.

VS.

As a final thing I would say, I have always been in love with art. Whether it was abstract or some particular course. The last picture is bizzare and artsy as hell- it really shows how the nature of art is so miscellaneous.

Also found on the Karls Platz

Part 2 of week 6- here we go!

N.
P.s: I did not forget about the dedication- I am just saving it for the Part II. Can’t wait!