One night

Hey, do you have a lighter, please?

You would be surprised when somebody comes to you on the street, in the middle of the night and ask you for something. Tbh with you, I was, like a lot. It never happened to me before, that I talked to a stranger for this long. Usually I have this “I don’t give a fuck about you” facial expression on my face (I do not really know why, honestly 😀 )
People tend to judge when they see somebody like me on the street, walking alone with this “face” – ,,she looks like a snob because she looks like she looks, why scrowling so much?…why this? why that? she looks like…? Because I freaking want to!!  What the hell people? stop this judgemental phase -_- it’s not fair to me and to all of those people who might look like me or they are acting and looking their own way.

BUT 🙂 it’s not the thing I wanted to talk about today, so back to the topic.
Night stranger 🙂 as I met him I was wondering what is he doing here in the gardens in my home town even if he is not from here? Actually he was trying to find some quiet place where he can sit down, light his cigarette up and just listen to quietness of the place, somehowly enjoy the night.
We started to talk (no names no nothing) and walked to the town to grab some beer, as we were talking he was telling me his story. I was really surprised when he told me how succesful he is with his business in one of my most favourite towns. Even if he is so young (24yo) he has 42 employees under his hand, still travelling from town to town, doing workshops, teaching new employees to new things, opening new bars…and I stayed completely speechless, because when you realize that where we live… and he is so young and decided to do something what he loves instead of something what he is supposed to do, is completely hilarious!
We decided to go to buy some food and more beer but it was like a deep Sunday night so I suggested to go to 24/7 groceries, so out of nowhere he jumped into the street and catched taxi ( felt like in NY for a second 😀 😀 ) it was fun actually we were in the 95% empty groceries (peopleless 😀 ) trying to decide which one is the best, laughing and stuff and funny situations from our lives.
After that we walked back to the town (because it was like on the edge of my town) I made some pictures (of course as usual my weird fetishes are visible again!) you can find them on the below with some which I took earlier that day 🙂
We talked a lot more, drinking beers, having fun and then I decided to go home because it was pretty late and I was tired to death. Goodbye my new friend, happy I met you today 🙂

The thing I want to tell you on the end is that sometimes when you turn off your “mean mode face” something awesome can happen…and it happened because I got to know one great person who made me realize that I want to do things my way and how I like, not what society wants me to do, because you always need to do what is the best for you and not for them- because YOU are the important here, not them 🙂

I hope you liked my todays effusion of words guys and the night adventure as well 😉 😀

N

P.s: promised photos 🙂

Pain ?

…how would you describe pain?

It is one of the few thing which we all have in common.
We can define physical pain. You know it hurts when a football ball hits you right in the nuts (boys?) we all know how it feels when we are peeling the potatoes and we cut deeply into the thumb..etc etc so many examples.
But the thing which is totally different is the one particular pain which is completely individual- yea you guessed it- psychic pain.

If I am looking at this thing from selfish point of view, for me…psychic pain means a lot me ( not in a good way) because I didn’t have such a positive and easy past 🙂 but honestly, who had..?
Sometimes you just can’t handle that kind of pressure which is rushing at you from every side possible, you just can’t…gosh how I hate those situations!

When you wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly realize you just don’t want to deal with things anymore, that you dont want to be treated like this.

Because this one heart is designed to be made of glass and if you’ll smash it on the ground, there is no chance to survive the fall.
When you meet somebody who you think is worth of opening your mind to, and later you’ll find out that it was just a waste of time…this kind of pain is coming all of a sudden and is that monstrous that you just can’t breathe, yes guys that’s called The Great Breaking of your Heart what you can hear from far far away, if you listen carefully.

Time- it’s the thing which you can offer to somebody but that certain somebody can’t accept it propperly and use it the way it has to be used, that one hurts like hell.
You expect something, and you get nothing- that’s why try ( even if it’s hard) not to expect so much from people because when you do, you often end up disappointed. That kind of pain? Can you really do that to a person?

BUT the completely worst kind of pain is seeing your mother cry…that feeling of powerlessness is unspeakable and suddenly you don’t know what to do but the thing you surely know is that you want to stop it immediately.
Tbh I experienced it once, and guys- never again! -_-

You never have to be ashamed of your own tears, because tears are the proof that we were strong for so long…
(sorry for the fucked up eye, I drew it like for 5minutes and it’s not proper but I was in a hurry -_-)

That’s why, try to be kind to people, because causing pain is not fair. I know some of you are hurt and doing it just from a  revenge feeling, but just stop, close your eyes, count to ten or to twenty or to fifty and simply let go of that, because if somebody who hurt you, doesn’t deserve to get a revenge or whatever action you are planning to do!
I know every person has his/hers individual kinds of pain and deals with problems and pains by themselves but I know a very few people agree with me and my opinion on things.

H.O.P.E- Hold On Pain Ends

N

Walls and notes #2

“Is that it?”
“No. That’s a wall.”
“It could be disguised.”
“You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?”
“I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.”

Expressing my “weird walls with notes fetish” today again 🙂 🙂

I really wanna climb it! 😀

Junkie corner!

Sausages? o.O

19 years walking on this earth 😉

Whoever wrote this, is a big person for me!

This!

Window to my soul.

Hey man, did you become a person that you have always wanted to be?

N

Find your way

,,You have to get lost, before you find yourself.”

Everybody wants to find their way in life.
Just belong to somewhere, where people will get their crazy talks, idiotic ideas and just simply get them as a person.

In life you have to travel, mess up, get lost for few days, have some rest, explore, be someone who you always wanted to be- maybe just for one second, to feel how it is, how did you dreamt about it every night… and the most importantly find the right place to live with somebody who is not afraid to tell you how he feels about you and will stay with you till the end. Because isn’t it the most important thing?
Time is the most relative dimension ever. Because you don’t know that if in two minutes your phone will ring and you will travel to the best places on earth or which path you will take tomorrow at 5pm or if you will go to the right or to the left.
Maybe he will call you tomorrow at the morning that – grab your stuff because we are going to travel somewhere because I miss you like crazy.

My point?

The freaking fate of ours! (we can call it FF now 😀 )

Have you ever thought about it? Like every single person has their destiny written from the minute they were born?
Like something happens and you just know it was destined?
So if you don’t know where to go just close your eyes and let your instincts navigate you to the best destination 🙂

As I was walking so many days across my hometown I always wondered how many paths I took and how many of them were wrong, or right (actually more of them were wrong, mostly in the past but as I am aging I’m looking out on myself more 😀 ). I actually like those which are lonely but made just for my steps and for my wicked phone to make pictures!
So find your way through this jungle and don’t be afraid to take somebody with you 😉

But can you do me a favour? Please always find you way back home, that one is the best one!

I hope you’ll make it.

N

P.S: My favourite ones!

Those (overthinking) lazy days

,,Let’s crawl under a big blanket and watch movies all day”

Hi guys 🙂
Do you have those days that you are just home all day long ?
Wearing comfy clothes, laying in bed watching Netflix, reading some good books or listening to music? That you just wake up at the morning, you have your hair tied in a bun, no make up on your face and eyes like a big fluffy bunny and mind is telling you that *girl no, not today*?
Today I am having one of them ! Doing exactly nothing, enjoying only a company of my dog laying beside me.
I am pretty busy lately so if I have a opportunity to have a day like this, I totally grab it with both of my hands like a thief trying to steal someones purse. ( don’t try to imagine it, it’s to bizarre 😀 )
I was thinking about a lot of things,as you know it’s August already and the schools coming as fast as the fastest train I have ever seen in my life and honestly, in this situation I would like to let the train smash me like a leaf from the road.
Why?
Upcoming stress and no time for relax, that’s why -_-
But on the other side I will be able to see my friends again 🙂
Two minuses and just one plus? Not fair at all!

I remember when I was a kid I have always wanted a very very long holidays, I was even trying to convince my parents to move to Bulgaria, because they have 3months long summer holidays 😀

I wanted to do a lot more stuff than I did, during this holidays, go to more new places, meet more new people…but instead of that I am laying in my bed, listening to a old song on the radio and thinking about the upcoming madness…

…because we all do need days like this 🙂

N

P.s: As I was staying home today, laying in bed like a big walrus ejected to the beach,occasionally making some steps to the kitchen and back, I made some photos of my laziness to go out to the big world :)))

  

Draw it !

,,Do not allow the eye to fool the mind”.

A few weeks ago I found my lost passion of mine- drawing 🙂
As I was like 13 or 14 I liked drawing at gymnasium but my drawing “skills” started to grow when I was in elementary school.
I can remember my moms face when I came home with some weird coloured mixture of flowers houses clouds and dogs 😀 , she always hung it on the fridge and it lasted there till I came with some new piece of “art” 😀 . Tbh I was a pretty strange kiddo 😀
Anyway, I wanted to show you a few of my works 🙂 I have always liked geometric art so I started to draw mostly something like that, so I hope you’ll like it 🙂

 

N

(Bad) Life decisions

,,When people have too many choices, they make bad choices.”

What is the first thing that pops into you head when you say a words ” bad decision”?
Some people would say that wrongly chosen shoes to good outfit (I’m totally kidding af right now) or going by some bad path in life or choosing a fake friend to be their best friend.

The thing I wanted to tell you today is, that I met my old friend D after a long time of not seeing each other….after we sat in a bar, he just told me that he is skipping school and he is going to work abroad, just like that. I was like are you kidding me? So this is a great example of a very bad decision in life.
What would a good a friend do? Of course he would try to convince him to stay and think about it more, but sometimes people can’t do anything but give a good advice and hope for a good end.
There are like 100 of “what if” but obviously that’s useless to say now.

When someone who you care about is going to take a bad path, you usually feel miserable, useless and do not know what to do because you don’t want to see him fall down on his own face (again).

Bad choices are generally a thing that everybody has to do at least once or twice in their life because after that they can learn from their mistakes ( or not to learn from their mistakes and repeat them like zilion times – (unfortunatelly) count me in! 😀 ).
Our parents or friends are always telling us not to do that because this that and that, but after this big 10minutes long monologue about “WHY NOT” we find at least 15 reasons “WHY YES”. So you see that forbidden things which are looking like the best ones at first (actually the worst ones) after all that when we fail we just hear the most famous sentence: ,,I told you so!”
But despite all of this everyone needs a support in things which he believes in, and if you have that one person that sticks to you no matter what, with all your stupid and crazy ideas, don’t ever let him/her go 🙂

So today I am trying to be the “supportive one” and D if you are reading this I am sure you will do great in your work, even if I disagree with all of this but I am trying to understand your (bad) decision. I hope you will come back so we can scream on the street at each other and walk around the town not knowing where are we going.
Goodbye my dearest friend, you will be missed 🙂

N

P.s: Even If I’m talking about bad choices today,I was trying to find some good paths and I guess I found them 😉

     

Life sunsets

,,I know I will see so many sunsets in my life, but I want to see this one with you.”

Another thing about me, I really love sunsets 🙂
Those are like my personal “happy place” everytime I see one. Thats why I wanna talk about sunsets of a life today.
I have always loved them but as I am aging it’s more and more powerful. I am looking at the outgoing light like it’s the last time I’m going to see.
Do you have those days like you wanna grab a bottle of wine, or a couple of beers or whatever and sit somewhere with somebody very special to you and just watch the sun slowly going to sleep? In my case 8 out of 10 times is impossible -_-” but thats just me.
Imagination starts working like crazy at night.
You just sit there with him/her, holding hands and quietly watching this everyday miracle happening, like in the old old times when this was “the big entertainment”. A nice walk, then find some bench and watch this…incredible and also so simple in the same way. You are starting to think about so many things you wanna do before your personal sun lays down for real…the big a scaring thing called future. Future with somebody you may don’t know yet, or he is sitting there with you right now.
Like..who knows?
Nobody 🙂
And that’s so beautiful about life – you never know what’s gonna happen. But the thing you know for sure is that you just don’t wanna be alone when the last sun will decide to go to sleep, and that matters the most – to find that perfect somebody who will spend those sunsets with you.
So keep your eyes open!
But one important thing about this is that:

You can assure yourself that tomorrows sunrise will happen again 🙂

N

P.s: enjoy 4 of the most favourite sunsets of mine 🙂

     

Travel as much as you can

 ,,It’s a good day to be awesome.”

These days are pretty busy for me, because I am travelling all week long to my two favourite towns (yet).
But this day I spent with one person that’s very special for me and It was a lovely day. Unfortunatelly, we can’t see each other much because of the distance problems but it’s awesome every single time 🙂 . Let’s call him M 🙂
Oh my,how I wish you all someone special in your lives that makes your life better!

Anyway, it’s a very old town so I can set free my “photo passion” there. Last week I saw one hidden alley and I couldn’t stop thinking about it since. So we tryed to find it and happily we did!! The building in the middle actually looks like  from The Hunger Games 😀 (if you know it)

    

I am sure about one thing – I wanna travel as much as possible (now and in future) but sometimes you just can’t because this, this and that, I guess you know what I am talking about, right? 🙂

Travel, explore new things, see new places, meet interesting people, eat some extraordinary food – just see how is life going everywhere in the world 🙂 I hope someday…
But the thing I wanted to tell you about is that M told me one interesting story today. As he waited for the train to come, sitting on the bench, one man just sat on the other side of the bench and suddenly started to talk to him. That man looked pretty…extraordinary, like the one you look at and you think ,,oh god that one looks weird but cool in the same time” 😀 also he was wearing colourful hawaiian shirt and had long grey hair in plait. How strange is that? 😛
Anyway, he spends his days mostly travelling around, sitting on benches and talking to people like M, or probably someone  who he finds interesting.
You see? This kind of lifestyle! Travelling, meeting new people, listening to their stories and just doing things you like the most 🙂 Because In my opinion nobody wants to stay on just one place and never see all the beauty of the whole wide world.

Next stop will be…?
Of course my “weird fetish” of making photos of people who does not pay attention to me 😀
Okay but seriously, as I was sitting in one garden full of roses, on the other side of the garden I spotted an old couple sitting on the bench enjoying the last sunbeams of the day and just couldn’t resist 🙂

M told me to make photo when they leave holding hands but unfortunatelly I didn’t pay attention (dammit! 😀 ) and I lost them. BUT as we were walking back to the town M spotted them on the other side of the road!! Actually it made me so happy! :)))

My point: After all these years, still travelling together as a couple – today that’s a very rare thing but yes they must be together for a long time and in that times marriage had the biggest value, to stay together no matter what! 🙂
Tbh I would be the happiest in this world if something like this happens to me…but I will talk about this some other time guys.

I was heading home with a great feeling from the nice day with him, with memories in my head seeing this scenery from the train:

Hope you liked my todays experience folks and the last thing:

,,Someone loves you, so travel carefully.”

N

Books?

” One must always be careful of books and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us”

How to start..you would find a lot of articles about books and cons and pros and stuff but I want to tell you about some experience I have and so many of you have too.
Books means so much to me but tbh they meant to me more in the past. It actually started when I was like 3 years old and my mom used to read me all the fairytales from the big book before bed, so I created my own bond with books in very young age.
Anyway I’ll explain the rest – I think we all went through the phase of this when we were younger- at least me of course – In gymnasium I used to read all the time since I wasn’t the most popular child in the class. I read during the classes (mostly punished for not paying attention, what a rebel child I was 😀 ), during breaks, during lunch sometimes and also at home till the very night. Books were like a very good friend to me and I was hanging out with this friend every single day for a longer period of time because as I said I was kinda loner.
Today when I am looking at my library, full of books from past and also from present I just smile because I know those are one of the best memories from my childhood 🙂

When you ask people (or children, okay) today if they like book or they would rather watch a movie, probably more than a half would pick the movie. Why? Because it’s faster and easier for the mind -_-” Okay I would like to watch a movie too but in books you know every single detail and you can easily concetrate on happenings in the storyline. But yes I have to admit, that’s just me 🙂

I think that everybody has the kind of day like- Please keep the reality away from me just for today. And as I was in my favourite big old town, visiting the great,big castle, I found this:

 

Teeny tiny castle room, usually called citadel or tower, but my name is better 😀
Anyway there was a note on the door that was saying: You can bring a book from the shelf, sit on the bench and just enjoy the incredible reading here 🙂 
Nothing but bookshelf, one window and little me came back to the past with a book in her hands sitting on the bench enjoying the clouded sun and trying to figure out what book she is holding in her usually cold hands.
So that was at least a moment without the big “reality check” and I was glad that I had that opportunity.

There is like a milion words I would say about this topic but I don’t want to bore you to the death folks 😛
To sum it up, we have to know the real value of the books and admire the writers, but every single person on this planet has his/hers own storyline inside of the heart. Don’t forget about it 😉

Enjoy 😉 🙂

N