The Domino Effect

&.&.&

Once upon a time, there was this void hiding in understanding. I was answering one question after another and gradually digressing from one phenomenon to other one, as well as unfolding the chain of happenings.

I was revealing the sandy desert with a small brush so that I won’t destroy the reality hiding under it. I found peace in every single reality, the perfect equilibrium in each detail that was being present.

The more human I am, the less I feel. The more I see behind the curtain, the less I am interested in the drama. Now I know why and more importantly, I know what – the thing is that there is no drama performed in this colossal and messy theatre. Just a sad play and I am the invulnerable spectator.

The particular sense is fake, the reality is just a total nonsense. We are all just a result of domino effect, one small brick in the middle of an enormous paragon. Equally important as well as insignificant like all the others. Just an emptiness of the purpose with the definition of nothing. The eternal darkness, windless setting, zero gravity.

So I have come this far just to realize that there is no other way? I am standing just one step in front of the emptiness and before I make the next move, I have to know what exactly I want to see.

And I don’t know it.

Yet.

The Instant Photographer.

N.

Stereotypical much?

,,And we’ll be running, running, running…”

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I haven’t been anywhere “out of here” for a while. It kinda bothers me because I really don’t like standing still..I know the summer is long gone, but still need to move, even if there is no vacation, or holidays or whatsoever.

I am just walking around the town, needing some inspiration, searching for something with a idea. Despite exams and shit, I would like to leave for a couple of days again because I don’t like the things that are happening here.

Do you also have that feeling when you come from an exciting trip and you are happy it even happened (heat of the moment situation), but in few days you need to leave again because your “place” is killing you? Or okay not killing, but you have a feeling that you need to move and see new things/places, or maybe old places where you haven’t been for some time – like exploring old places again because you know, that you can find something new there? It almost always happens.

To be completely honest, it is very uncomfortable here. The same place, same happenings, the stereotype is getting on me pretty well and I can feel it. Still passing through the same streets, listening to the same music, staring on the same buildings, trees, stuff in general- on and on.
Today I woke up and the first thing on my mind was a simple question- ,,HOW LONG?” For how long do I need to hold on to this? And “surprisingly”, the answer was nowhere to find.

This is simply not way I wanna live my life. It makes me feel sick, but right now, I would say, that I am too young to do anything, but old enough to do at least something.

I have to figure it out because the question is hanging in front of me like every day and something need to be done.
I don’t know what yet, but sooner or later the answer will appear.

If you are going through something similar do everything what’s in your power to get what you want to get, because it’s your life and you will be living it till the end not him her or whoever. You are the one who’s gonna spend the rest of your life with you, so make your wishes and needs come true. Otherwise it’s gonna be a very boring and depressive life and I am sure you don’t really want that.

Fingers crossed.

N.

P.s: Pictures from just one day 🙂

 

 

Breathing

“Is it working?” she asked me.
“How can I tell?”
“If you can breathe, then it’s working.”

This life is a circle of moments. It’s mostly about the breathtaking situations, events, looking to somebody’s eyes, being scared and on the other hand not being scared enough, looking at the pictures from the past knowing it will never happen again. Things we will remember forever.
Sometimes at the end of the day, I forget how to breathe and have to start from beginning. Sometimes I just forget how to do it again…how to repeat the thing I am supposed to do my whole life, because I am confused and don’t know how to continue. The moment,the last second decides- breathing in and out, I am supposed to do that, right? I am supposed to live and be here for all the people, do so many amazing things, meet so many new people, go out there and see the world, so basically what I and so many of you always wanted to do….it’s just about breathing about saving yourself with this simple operation. People want you to do that, want you to stay with them, because they want you.

So, are you nervous?
Don’t forget to breathe.

N.

Morning light

,,It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life
for me
And I’m feeling good”

Monday morning. Slowly waking up, after not sleeping much this night. One positive thing- light. I am so tired of waking up into a foggy a rainy days (I should get used to by now, but still trying to resist). Yes, waking up from some dream you had and damn, wanted it to continue, that can mess up your mood a little bit. But waking up into a sunny morning gives you the right energy to survive it, the right energy for the day,you suddenly don’t feel that tired or moody. When I first went out with my dog, it felt amazing and didn’t feel that blind and half sleeping (believe me it happens all the time). Even if the sun is not that warm these days, yea winter is coming -_- , I am trying to enjoy the last sunny weather as much as I can 🙂 . Anyway, have a nice and sunny day everybody!

N.

Say something

“…it only takes one voice, at the right pitch, to start an avalanche.”

Even if today was kind of a better day in some ways, I decided to talk about something what is not that positive in general- being afraid to speak up.There are lot of people in this world who – when it comes to that – never say a word when something’s happening, either in their life or if they have to speak up for some other person. Okay, being afraid is perfectly normal, being scared that at the end you will come out as the worst one, okay- everything’s okay, but (!) if not, then you will help yourself, or the satisfaction from helping the others is worth of it all. Yes, sometimes, it can be hard to distinguish yes or no, but if you feel that it’s right, then it’s right. Words are here for communication, so say something before it’s too late.

N. 

P.s: Why those photos? Yes, say something before the light goes off.

Choice

“When you light a candle, you also cast a shadow.”

The thing is, that we don’t always  want to pick the bright side, sometimes we are tempted to pick  the dark one. You asking why? Because we are just people and we are allowed to pick the exact thing we want, if we have a chance. People tend not to pick what they really want for a wide variety of reasons, e.g they are scared, not confident enough, afraid to speak up or whatever. If you wanna pick the dark from time to time it’s always gonna be your idea and your decision your choice, but you know that you picked right even if it’s not the light, because YOU wanted it. Everybody always suggests light, but without one important knowledge – in every light is a piece of darkness and also in every darkness is a piece of light too. 

Don’t ever forget about that.

N.

 

Choose your morning path

“You must wake up in the morning thinking of things you could change in and about your life on a daily basis.”

Today I woke up as usual- too early for me (thanks mom -_-“) and went out with the dog. This is what I saw. It made me actually wake up a little bit more because I went out like half asleep and the sun just gave me some energy. So basically the picture was taken literally like 5 minutes ago.
Anyway, the picture refers one thing to me- two parts of the world- the light one and the one which is not that light- dark. Ask me, you can always choose. You have aways a choice and it’s up to you and nobody else which one you’re gonna pick. I think sometimes it’s kinda hard to know which one to take, because you are  (maybe) too young to know which one is the right one, but at the end you’ll know, believe me 🙂 Just do what you love and what you need to make yourself happy and things will work out exactly how are they supposed to!

N

Perfect timing

“In Light there is Dark, and in Dark there is Light.”

Yesterday I was on my way to see my dad at his place and I was walking to a bus stop thinking about sooo many things (if you do read my articles you know that it’s kinda usual for me) feeling kinda tired because it was the end of the looong school week (finally!). I have always loved those perfect timed photos in a perfect time of the day- the particular time when the sun is laying down and you just see the last little trying of the sun saing “goodnight”. To add the “scary tree fingers” were just a bonus for a perfect half-dark impression- half light half dark!

N

Are you brave enough?

“Darkness is a great opportunity to discover the divine face of the light!”

I suppose that this picture is one of my darkest ones which I’ve ever took. I was out with friends at night and they suddenly stopped and stared to that dark, cold looking “gangway”, I did not notice that they stopped at first but as I was walking and I didn’t hear any voices behind me so I figured out that something is wrong here or they  hid on purpose somewhere or whatever. I turned around and went to the gangway by myself and they were like ,,Nooooo don’t go there!” But yea, if I would be alone the adrenaline would be 100% active I guess. But anyway, I’ve always liked pictures with this B&W motion and partly covered in light and in darkness, I am sure I am not the only one!

N

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