Old habits die hard

“Everything you are used to, once done long enough, starts to seem natural, even though it might not be.”

There will always be a question in my head, that makes me open my eyes everyday and realize that somethings happening, that I am still alive and things that happened do not make me complete anymore, even that makes me realize that I don’t live in past anymore, and so-

Why is it so hard to let your old habits die?

Let’s be honest with each other. If we are doing something in regular basis, there is like 100% security that after something fucks up, you won’t be very eager to let it go just like that. The Great Gate of Habits is something that stands here for such a long time without us knowing it’s even here. It is closed like the gates of Azkaban from Harry Potters series, and no one’s leaving until he’ll somehow escapes. Well, this is it, the habits sometimes escape The habit gate and leave you. You are trying to find it, you are looking everywhere and yes, there are times when you find them, but also that you won’t find them at all. Let’s say anymore.

There are habits that makes us feel alive, that makes us continue in our life, that makes us feel the joy, that makes us be passionate about something, that makes us feel that you are finally part of something that makes sense. Those habits that are not toxic and gives you the opportunity to be creative (or not creative at all), full of expectations and happiness. Only particular habits make you realize why the life is so good and precious, that you have some path to continue on, to have some freaking purpose.Those you really don’t want to lose all of this, I am sure.

There are also habits that you intentionally produce and not even realizing how toxic are for you, make your life miserable, those which are wrong on so many levels, that much it all makes you realize that you are again falling into that dark world- but still, you chose it! You are the one who let it come back into your life, you are the one torturing yourself with all those things that you will never see again, but you’ll also never change them. I am not just talking about smoking or drinking but about thoughts that surprise you in the worst minute of your day.

We, as  human beings, are trying to get rid of those bad habits and replace them with those which makes us feel something. I am not saying that people are successful every single time, but you know what? They are at least trying, they are not sitting in their sad flats, pitying themselves all day. They grab the opportunity and they lead the crowd to the better mood of tomorrow.

Yes, there are times when even the happiest people doubt the happy period, because happiness is so fragile and it can break any minute. They are afraid of losing it, that’s why are they still going back there sometimes to remind themselves that yes, it was a bad period of my life, but it always can be worse. I just decided that-

“I am not losing my sleep over something that won’t give me anything for the future.”

No one’s saying it’s like that,but that’s how it’s supposed to be. Am I right?

So let me take this umbrella and simply leave it all here.

N.

 

Childhood

,,Can X go out and play?”

This generation of children, is a generation called “growing up too fast”. It’s never about going out with kids from the block, playing “ball games”, experience all the adventures which e. g I experiences – bleeding knees, bruises all over caused by climbing the trees…and so much more.
Today it’s ll about technology, staying home, skyping  instead of hanging out outside; using cell phones, tablets- in such a young age (when I didn’t even know what an iPhone was) becoming addicted.

This picture is a strong reminder of that colorful, happy, “free draw” and kinda rebellious childhood from my past. When I see some children out, playing on the playground, it’s rarity and I am staring like a I saw a ghost, but still excited to see it.

I hope, there are some kids in this tech world, who still goes out, experience all the ventures that this world offers. Because as long as I remember, that time, I was the happiest.

N.

The foggy morning

Good morning guys 🙂   
This is what I see most of the time, for like 2-3weeks.

It strongly reminds me the “morning feeling” of mine, every single day. I would call it – A fog in my head. That numb feeling, when you wake up at the morning, the first look to the window, just to see, that there is a another foggy/rainy day. That stupor feeling while dressing up, falling asleep about 4times in a row. 

I am just not a morning person at all -_-” and I am sure, that I am not the only one here.

Just make sure, even if you don’t have a happy and energetic morning, that your day will be a good day.

N.

Differences

,,Can you tolerate this difference?”

There are so many differences between people. But still, we are all equal in the fact that we are all different. We are all the same but on the other hand we will never be the same, we are living in the reality or in the little personal hidden space in your head, that only you can call shelter. I think, in every harmony is a little piece of disharmony, I mean, everywhere I go, I see it – disrespect, racism and some kind of negative reaction on something completely normal. We, as human race, have this in common: breathing the same air, sharing something that keeps us alive-  and you are saying that somebody is less than you are?

Have you ever thought about questioning yourself, if you do that, then why do you even do that?
I have like so many thoughts about a word “different” in my mind, but I have a feeling that this is enough for now.

Just think about this beautiful metaphor.

N.

P.s: I am not being moral or something, we all have our sins, but when I look at the picture full of extraordinary and different donuts, I see this. And sure, you can imagine like 150 things, if somebody say a word “difference” but still, think about it from every point of view you can.
By the way, I sent this picture to very close friend of mine and he immediately responded, that this should be a good thing for this blog- with a caption: Differences. You surprise and inspire me every day, thank you 🙂

Lights will guide you home

“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.”

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you hear a word “light”? The first thing for me is the title of todays article- Lights will guide you home. Home, where the light symbolize the warmness, good mood (I didn’t say it has to be the “home” where you actually live right now) and just being satisfied about things in general.
It is always like that, I mean, lights are something which is supposed to be here for us – warm light to make yous know that not everything is just cold and shady, light to make you think about good instead of bad things, the big variety of colors playing with your mind, to know that not everything is just black and white, to know that at least now, you are not alone , to have a feeling that you are not scared anymore, to be who you are even if the light is on, to come back to your childish times to be happy because of it, even just for a second or two. And so many things…

I know that nowadays it is so hard to be happy about little and, for some people, unimportant things, but still, try to keep on mind, that you don’t have to be happy just because of big, enormous things, little things (as those lights) are like little miracles and being happy for them is at least the one thing that can make your day slightly better. It is possible, but it’s up to you to want it.

What about you?

N.

P.s1: That first picture was made today at my friends house, very talented writer with a sparkly lights at her apartment 😀 http://www.fragmentsofmindblog.wordpress.com check her out if you have some time 😉

P.s2: A little series of photos which I took in few days – “In love with the light” 🙂 enjoy

 

 

A very long walk

,,Wanna meet up tomorrow?”
,,Sure, let me check the train.”

Hey there! 🙂 Yesterday I finally after such a long time went back to one of my favourite towns. Honestly it was a very very nice day- I would describe it like silent and relaxing one and since I don’t really have many of them these days, I am super grateful to my friend, who took me to places I’ve never been to, even if I know the town a little more.
Chronology of today:
1.Old train depo
2.”Park forest”
3. Story
(y)

Everybody needs a day like this once in the while, because the stereotype and the “autumn time” would kill us in a month or two. Just chill a little and do just things what YOU like.
It’s good to dust down your phone and call him/her to bring a camera and here we go! Honestly I took so many photos you can’t even imagine (yes again!)- I told it actually to my friend and he was like- omg every week you have another trip to somewhere!! 😀 TBH, I would be so glad if this was happening every single week because as you now I really love travelling and exploring new places and of course – capturing everything what I consider somehow interesting, but unfortunatelly I can’t do it whenever I want -_- and that’s frustrating – but that’s life.

So I took the train and travelled about one hour to the old town to meet my friend who took me to an old train depo- perfect place for photos guys!! Just imagine totally fucked up weedy building covered in graffiti and broken glass. Okay, sounds dangerous as well but I had to see it all! I was kinda terrified when I first saw it, like imagine that you would find something (or someone ) dead there…but me and my friend agreed, that that place would be perfect for throw some huge urban party up there! There were also an underground tunels underneath the depo but I wasn’t that brave to go down there and swim in a complete darkness just with the light from my phone because we didn’t have a propper flashlight.
Anyway- photos are ready for you!!

  

  

   

   

I know I added a lot of pictures, but I just wanted you to see everything I’ve seen and if you are a fan of old buildings you should really visit this place you will certainly not regret your decision at all 🙂 When I come inside to some building like this I can immediately imagine all the “stories” that happened there- it has some secret hidden in the walls and you can see it when you enter.

I would consider myself a very weird and strange person because as you can see old destroyed buildings and the next thing I wanted to show you is a beautiful nature park playing with colours. So we are moving from black ‘n’ white to colours- yayy! 😀

As we were passing through, a lot of families were there, so many children even people jogging or cycling. It felt so good to see so many people and still feel the relax and silence in the “forest”. It is such a beautiful place to just go for a walk after Sunday lunch or whatever with your friends or family. Enjoy the view 😉

   

   

This is what I love about autumn- the wide variety of endless pallet of colours. You turn your head left or right and all you can see are different tones of orange, yellow, red, green and brown and it feels so warm even there’s no warm weather at all.

Anyway after a long long looong walk we finally came back to the town and decided to grab some beer and just chill and relax after this exhausting trip. As we sat there and we had an interesting conversation about philosophy of past and past stuff and of course memories from our childhood plus drunk memories included (wide pallet of fuck ups? 😀 ) etc etc…
A little boy (like 3-4 year old) went out from the restaurant (we were sitting outside at that time) with his dad. Dad went to the left but the boy stopped and he shrieked with his cute voice that he wanna go to the right. Dad asked him why he wanna go and the boy didn’t reply anything just smiled. Dad started to laugh and asked him- ,,You wanna press “his” nose right?” – by HIS he meant this: (I showed you this in an old article called “In love with…” I guess, but anyway)

 

The little boy started to laugh and dad told him to press it and come back. So he did it and when he went around me he stopped and looked me dying from laughter, because it was so cute you would die if you would see it- the kiddos naivity and happiness in one. I am so glad for that moment because it really made me feel like a child for a second- naive, happy, simple minded child.

To sum up this whole day? I am still so tired right now even if I slept at night, but it was a very nice day as I said- the one you really need to experience and then you can sit on your couch after you’ll come home exhausted af and smile honestly, like I did.

Thank you for finishing my piece to the end! It means so much to me 🙂

N

A little trip to my Wonderland

“Wherever you go, take yourself with you”

Hey guys 🙂 Lately I had a lot of work because of my school and stuff but I decided to do this anyway- I went to visit my bestie to my favourite town not so far away from me. Kinda classic for us, to have a night tour de town and of course one bottle of wine is missing now o.O ( not my fault I swear!) but okay not to be such a drunkie, we had an amazing dinner which was made by her boyfriend- I am incredibly happy that she has him by the way, beccause we know each other like 10years and I am glad she has someone who takes care of her in that kind of a big town 🙂 But anyway, I made a loooot of pictures and (of course) I am gonna show you like always! But before that…

I also wanted to talk a little about this- even if you are too far away from each other to meet up once a day or even once a week/2weeks etc, it feel awesomely awesome to see them and feel that nothing really changed. You are talking about usual stuff, eating chocolatte, laughing a lot. You know that better laugh now and enjoy it the most because tomorrow it’s gonna be different. You are gonna come back to the usual stereotype with the same things and a lot of stuff on your “to do” list.
But despite of everything when you are sitting in a train on your way back home you are enjoying the music which you love the most ( for today I picked https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scd-uNNxgrU because it has one of the biggest messages of all of msgs I’ve ever seen in one song, so listen to it if you want, I think it’s worth) and you know that it was freaking real, you know you had a good time with someone who is worth of the whole friendship and suddenly it’s not that bad at all- the leaving part.

Because it was a “heat of the moment” kind of stuff 🙂 he would tell you a lot about it if you would know him.

N

P.s: promised photos! enjoy

Wanna join me? 🙂

I am sorry but,can you shut the door after you leave please?

 

 

 

 

  

  

ONA

Big truth!

sometime ago he said: ,,it helps me…”

but, sorry I am leaving.

The other side of anxiety

“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.”

I’ve recently done one test, about feeling axious or having some sort of social anxiety and stuff. I always knew that something is not right but yea let’s face it , who has the best “mind space” ? I am not going to tell you my score, but it was not that good tbh 😛 here is the link if you’ll like to test yourself:
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/test-social-anxiety-disorder-find-out-if-you-suffer-social-phobia

People who feel nervous in the big croud, or they feel uncomfortable when they have to talk to a shop assistant or talking to their classmates during the break – big issue, big time.
People are trying to hide, in general. They don’t want the world to see them, their face, their actions…they are closing their minds because they are afraid of people hurting them. They won’t let anybody to see what they or who they really are. Those emotions are too strong and sometimes they don’t know what to do. Lack of confidence is acompanying their life in a huge way- afraid to speak up, sometimes afraid to even go to public.

My point?
This is not fair. People are supposed to enjoy their life in the best way possible, how they want and by the most comfortable way they can. I mean, why? I don’t think the people are happy in their skin…Actually I read some articles about a social anxiety a few days ago and I saw one  weirdly terrifying thing, one guy got out of his “anxiety bubble” after 44 years :O like oh my…but big time, because he made it! and today he is not afraid to speak in front of people, to say what he really thinks…to go anywhere he wants etc..This is a huge one 🙂 and I am so happy he made it because nobody wants to live like that, I hope that everybody who is struggling with this kind of “issues” will be okay one day

I guess, if you want to compare anxiety and getting out of it- I would choose “The Tunel metaphore” If you think about it as tunel- you really wanna get out of the anxiety tunel but the light at the other side is too far and you are too weak to run faster. BUT time after time when you’ll try more and more you will run faster and faster and at the end you will reach the precious and warm light…and that feeling? I can’t say, but I think one of the best and worth ones 🙂 ! Nobody wants to stay in a cold tunel forever- sooner or later you’ll get out and then a new life’s gonna start 🙂

Even if this is not my photo, in my opinion it totally describes the feeling:

I also wanted to tell you another thing today 🙂 and that thing has a name- Project Semicolon.
It’s been here since 2013, and the project is about one simple, little tattoo- Semicolon. People all over the world are getting this semicolon tattoos to support people who are struggling with some mental issues, addiction even suicidal stuff is included

In literature, semicolon reminds us, the authors intention to continue and not end the sentence with a dot.

I just wanted to tell you that not everything is black and even if you feel bad or sad or however weird, there is always a little white place, the good place, where, or with who you feel okay and safe and comfortable. You don’t have to close the gates to your head and thoughts in front of the world because there will always be somebody who will be here for you and if not now, than he/ she will come later- but I am 100% sure it will come 🙂 so don’t worry my beloved strangers.

When I was younger  I started to create a JAR.
A jar full of my wishes, beliefs, hopes,,,something, someone, somewhere….everything 🙂 and actually it helps me from time to time to open that jar and read all of it in once. All the quotes, sentences, wishes all numbered, little pictures I drew and a lot more 🙂 because when I read it I don’t feel so lost in that moment…I feel that something good’s gonna happen.

If you are struggling with anything bad in your life, hold on, you will figure out the way out of the tunel soon 😉 I promise that everything’s gonna be okay. And if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

Thank you for reading my todays piece, it means so much to me 🙂

N

Heat of the moment

,,Enjoy the moment which is happening right now”

Hey guys, sorry for the lack of blogging but sometimes things doesn’t work out the way you want and then something like this happen -_-” (I hope you understand 😛 )

Anyway, I spent last three days in Czech Republic in Prague with one very important person, who means so much to me. It was supposed to be my “goodbye holidays” trip (because my school’s starting tomorrow), so I booked my ticket and went for it with excitement and happiness in my heart 🙂

Before I show you the amazing photos I wanted to talk a little bit about “moments”.
I was very sad at the end of my trip, I felt bad because I had to leave and go back to the reality, but as I am aging I have to admit and accept that I have to enjoy the nice and good days and not to cry when it’s ending because I have such great memories and lot of things I will remember till the end of my life. I left Prague but I know that I will come back soon, I am pretty sure because I loved it so much. If you’re reading my blog from time to time, you will remember my article It’s good to feel home (if not, just click here https://wonderwallphoto.wordpress.com/2015/09/06/its-good-to-feel-home/ ) and in this article I was writing about feeling at home, about places which would remind you home or people who are able to create you home – Prague just happened to be my new place where I felt just like home. I felt very comfortable, I felt that I don’t have to be afraid because I was with him, I felt relaxed and last but not least- happy.
When something negative hits you to the head, always remind yourself of the good stuff that happened, with the people you love the most and don’t ever let it ruin your day. Okay, scream, cry, but after that you will feel such a relief you can’t even imagine.

Don’t be sad that something’s ending because something new will start tomorrow 🙂

N

P.s: Promised photos 😉 Enjoy

 

Letter “C”

,,One day I will find the words and they will be simple”

Today was an ordinary long “bad weather” day 🙂 as usual, I was thinking about so many things which are going to change in my life, and I was also checking up my older photos, so found this one:

I remember as I spotted this “C” painted on a tree I had to took a photo of it, because I knew that I’m gonna need it later 🙂 and that day just came!
When I see this one I am thinking about all the words which are begininng with letter C- 13 of them:

Courage to tell to the world with no fear how you feel about him/her, things which you are afraid to say out loud

Coffee to survive the day/  great morning kick-ass

(being) Confused when something went worse than you expected

Calm yourself down when somebody pisses you off as hell

Carry on when everything fails but you can’t let them know you are down

Classic music when you need to take a minute for yourself

Clean your heart/head up

Clock is ticking like crazy, that’s why you have to live for the moment

(be) Crazy, because not being crazy is like a crime)

Cleverness is something what you’re loosing exactly when you need it to stand by your side

Collect your best memories, so in another 20 years you can remind yourself that your youth wasn’t that bad at all

Communicate only with the right people, with somebody who will stay with you no matter what

Case – packing,for travelling around the world

I picked only the words which are pretty important for me and I hope that you’ll find some of them which are compatible with your theory of life too 😛

When I look at this short list of words which are known very well in my mind I just play my best days all over again in my head – pushing play at the beggining, pausing when something funny or interesting happens, rewinding when sad parts are coming and also stopping the “story telling” when I want to memorize that particular moment forever.
Photos makes me realize that not everything is just black and white because when you colour them, something amazing can happen 🙂

N